Put Downs

[TheFaQQer]

Churchill - are you my ex husband?

Hate to be the one to point it out, but.....








You're still married

[AtW]

Hate to be the one to point it out, but.....








You're still married

She has got a big life insurance on her husband who coincidentally is flying on the same plane with me in 2 weeks time...

[sasguru]

Do you see us coming to New Zealand, pushing your pensioners about? No? Well then.

No true it was France pushed their pensioners about a few weeks ago.

[wendigo100]

No true it was France pushed their pensioners about a few weeks ago.

Do the kiwis have their own remembrance day for the fallen at the last five Rugby World Cups?

[sasguru]

Do the kiwis have their own remembrance day for the fallen at the last five Rugby World Cups?

Yes they do a ritual known as the reverse-weeping-haka.

[BrowneIssue]

or had one done to you ?

Having just got something off my chest to my boss:

"Is that a considered opinion, or one of your own?"

[Swiss Tony]

One of my faves but can’t claim it as mine.

Bloke 1: How’s your wife and my children?

Bloke 2: Wife’s fine, kids are retarded!

[BA to the Stars]

One of my faves but can’t claim it as mine.

Bloke 1: How’s your wife and my children?

Bloke 2: Wife’s fine, kids are retarded!

That's another cricket one

I think it was Aussie wicket-keeper Rodney Marsh who asked England batsman Robin Smith

[BrowneIssue]

... He had wanted to read his newspaper in the train.. I waited for him to put it down so I could go past and people behind me could get on, he didnt, so I walked through his paper. Then he muttered...

The rules of etiquette on British public transport are horribly complicated. Lurking amongst them is (and this is a very shortened version): "Thou shalt not look at or speak to other passengers unless it is to ask them to move out of your way for your benefit unless you are clearly being forced or expected to move into their space beyond your control in which case it is OK just to mutter an apology."

In short, I think a " 'Scuse me " (said in a forceful but not aggressive or loud manner) was needed as you pushed past.

Alternatively look him in the eye and very sarcastically say "Piss off". This allows you freedom of passage whilst granting the sayee plenty of righteous indignation. Note that this must be said with long vowels otherwise it sounds weak.

Hmm. Now I remember why I got out of the South East.

[scooterscot]

Was going through some old pictures in work

me "can you beleive it's been 2 years since that was taken"

colleague "aye and what have you got to show for it"

me "a degree, a house and a car"

colleague "" er no comment.