Anyone here mudered anyone?

[King Cnvt]

I once murdered someone who wouldn't shut up about house prices.

Did someone mention house prices?

[BoredBloke]

A farmer who I used to some odd jobs for when I was growing up got banged up for murder. His wife was having it away with somebody and he shot her.

I also had to give a statement in a murder inquiry once. A friend of my folks was celebrating his 30th. When the pub closed a load came back to our house. We lived on the top of a big hill and it had been snowing. At one point in the night there had been an argument between the birthday boy and another bloke. At the end of the night he and his girlfriend left ours to make their way home, down the steep hill in the snow. Being pi55ed he started farting about in the snow and she got fed up and left him to it. The next morning she woke up and he wasn't there. She opened the bedroom curtains and there he was in the garden covered in snow. He had cuts to his head and face and his clothes were all messed up. The police thought he'd been in a fight and the guy he had the earlier argument with had the finger of suspicion pointed his way. It turned out that it was just a pretty sad accident. He'd cut through some fields to take a short cut to the back of his house and slipped when he tried to climb over the wall into his back garden and they think he had knocked himself out. Apparently when you die of hypothermia, you get this feeling that you are really really hot and that is why his clothes were so messed up. So like Shakespeare, he checked out on his birthday.

[Jog On]

Why was somoene with brittle bone disease making suggestinve comments to strangers in public toilets?

The mind boggles...

[Spartacus]

Friend of mine killed his dealer after he threatened his wife and kid over non-payment of a drug debt. Rolled him up in a carpet and drove around with him in the boot of his car for a couple of days before burying the body in a shallow grave in the woods.

Did 10 years for manslaughter, so not strictly murder, no.

[dotnetter]

Friend of mine killed his dealer after he threatened his wife and kid over non-payment of a drug debt. Rolled him up in a carpet and drove around with him in the boot of his car for a couple of days before burying the body in a shallow grave in the woods.

Did 10 years for manslaughter, so not strictly murder, no.

Would have been funnier if you said he rolled him up in a carpet and smoked him

[zeitghost]

Does killing people for food count as murder? It's just that I've got this lizardy friend...

[Bagpuss]

seeing as though we have moved on..

A bloke was murdered who lived in a cottage that sided onto my Auntie's garden. His wife paid my ex Primary school deputy head's husband to blow his head off. Killer sat in wait for him as he came home from band practice, he walks in, bolts the door shut turns around and BANG!

That was about 20 years ago, so i suppose they may be out now!

[cailin maith]

Nope - but I know someone - who knows someone (long story) who'll shoot someone else for £1500 - he promises not to miss...... have considered hiring him for ex-husband. Not to kill him really, just maim him in some kind horrific way!

[zeitghost]

before burying the body in a shallow grave in the woods.

That's an outrageous waste of perfectly good food... disgraceful.

[zeitghost]

Rolled him up in a carpet and drove around with him in the boot of his car for a couple of days

Chap around here partially offed his girlfriend with a lump hammer, then drove around with her in the boot of his car for a couple of days... (she died in the boot of the car eventually).

I remember it well coz the git nearly ran me over as he was looking for somewhere to dump her...

He served 99.6% of his time & topped himself inside 3 weeks before he was due for release.