Most annoying phrases

[chicane]

nice thread but can we park it now

Be careful - you may be arrested by a couple of over-zealous PCSO's on suspicion of homophobia. Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime.

[wendigo100]

Really?

And you survived?

Camping in the car park? Yes. We didn't know it was a car park because we arrived at night and it wasn't tarmaced.

We found out next morning when I awoke at about 9am and climbed out of the tent for a slash, dressed only in my underpants and p1ss-proud, to find myself the object of much curiosity among shoppers...

I blame Martin Barrowman, he was the driver...

[Swamp Thing]

I have amalgamated a bunch of phrases I have heard used in the last month to produce a wonderful patchwork of bullsh1t. 2 versions – English and American.

English version: “If we are unable to meet stakeholder expectations because our brand equity is diluted by offline activity, then we have no choice but to take that back to the business. At the end of the day, we need to get stickier with our customers and to do this our strategy needs to stay on the sharp path. If we can’t do that then we’ll need to take a view.

American version: “If we pi55 off our clients because we’re too distracted by non-essential projects, then the buck stops with the CEO. Bottom line people, we need to embrace our customers tighter than a Hulk Hogan arm-lock, so make sure our customer agreements have the most unattractive termination clauses possible. Now, let’s go full-plate – lock and load people!!!”.

[Lucy]

My least fave and most annoying is something called the 'Cost Challenge' which means the organisation that couldn't tell anyone the real cost of a project six years ago (when I last worked there) can now do it, (sort of) and some ape with an abacus has worked out we are £26M overspent. Well done.

'Cost Challenge' is w*nk speak for lets cull all contractors without stopping projects and wonder why the permies are all off sick with stress, cause that what happened three years ago when we did this...

But Malcolm the monkey will still be going to India next month, and I doubt if he's sitting in the back of the plane. (Well, he wouldn't fit, for a start!)

[TheFaQQer]

Omg
Wtf

[TheFaQQer]

"First things first..."

"Let's run that one up the flagpole and see who salutes it..."

"Step up to the plate..."

[Old Greg]

"First things first..."

"Let's run that one up the flagpole and see who salutes it..."

"Step up to the plate..."

Yep -they're annoying - what the hell is step up to the plate about?

[Diver]

Smile, it may never happen

It already fekin did alright, so die you overly happy sanctimonious Barsteward.

I may have to kill the next person that says it to me when I'm miserable.

[MobileCheese]

'Raising the bar' does my head in

[shoes]

I'm always impressed with 'going forward'. So you're ruling out time travel then, well done. No-one mentioned 'synergy' yet. Amazes me how these people coming out with this stuff can dress themselves in the morning.