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Embarrassing mistakes at work

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    #41
    Oh man, where to start...

    A client in the late 80's (major motor group) requested I extract most of their customer table (circa 12000 recs) to use in a mailmerge letter advertising the release of a new Saab 9000 model. No problems there, but since the marketing manager was away they also asked me to perform the mailmerge. Spell check program (which I wrote) changed 'Saab' to 'Scab'. First I knew of it was when customers began calling asking why we we're inviting them to view the new 'Scab 9000'. oops....

    Then there was the time that a client was moving to new premises and I was hired to move an IBM5360. Bear in mind that these old boxes weigh over a tonne. So, I hire a tail lift truck etc. But I accidentally 'dropped' the beast getting it off the truck at the other end. I proper kacked myself, but luckily the thing booted up ok and the only major dent in the chassis was underneath so they never noticed. They don't make 'em like they used to...

    Oh and I once mentioned something about coffins in a board meeting, resulting in many red faces. Was very bad timing since the MD's only son had died a few days before. That one still makes me cringe 15 years on...

    I could go on....

    Nice thread! Very cathartic!

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      #42
      Was giving a demo to a pretty young female user but had a bad cold. I was explaining how this and that worked when a stream of very liquid snot dibbles out of my nose onto the keyboard

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        #43
        Originally posted by G8_Summit
        when a stream of very liquid snot dibbles out of my nose onto the keyboard
        You're sure it was snot, right ?

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          #44
          Originally posted by G8_Summit
          Was giving a demo to a pretty young female user but had a bad cold. I was explaining how this and that worked when a stream of very liquid snot dibbles out of my nose onto the keyboard
          did you ask her out after that ?

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            #45
            Originally posted by darmstadt
            My colleague and me with straight faces told them that they were internal COBOL variable names which had to be used. (BOS - bag of tulipe, BOA - bunch off arse, BMB - bugger me backwards.).
            Found a line in some live Cobol once:-

            "perform b*ggery until c*ck is sore"

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              #46
              Not me, but somebody I was supposed to be "looking after" had just delivered some objects to a clients test system.

              Not being that up to date on 1990s technology the silly bint didn't know how to end her telnet session on the AS400 so instead of asking me she poked around a bit in the command list and found ENDTCP. Which ends the TCP server on the box. Which dropped her (and everybody else's) connection to the box. She was happy, client wasn't - as the box was in an unmanned data centre 40 miles away and some poor chump had to drive over and restart TCP.

              No sure why, but I ended up getting the bollocking.
              ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

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                #47
                Originally posted by Orangutan
                I was slagging a boss off to a trusted colleague, who was nodding (in agreement I thought). After the conversation another colleague pointed out that I the boss and guy I was talking to were married !
                My wife did the same kind of thing:

                MrsF: Oh I can't stand Sue, she's a real bitch. Do you know who I mean?
                Colleague: Yes, she's my mum
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                  #48
                  Back in the early '80s I had an operator contract at the CAD Centre in Cambridge, which later morphed into programming.

                  Before removing a tape (yes, Milan isn't the only one to have done backups ) I placed a strip of labels on top of the server, on which a hundred or so designers were busy working, but a draft from a fan inside made it start fluttering off. Without thinking, I whacked it to hold it against the server, and hit the reset button ..
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                    #49
                    In the late 80s I was working with EVT (European vocational training) as system support.
                    EVT trained TDW's (Technophobes, Dimwits & Wannabee's) in IT. usually on Database, Spreadsheet & word processing to Level 2 City & Guilds.
                    On completion of the first course, one of my jobs was to ensure that all students prev project work was removed from the system prior to the final test. all prev projects were saved by students to a specific folder! - EVT.
                    Being basically bone Idle at the time, I thought Easy!
                    Wrote a batch file to remove contents of folder on bootup. No Prob?
                    30 aspiring C & G students arrive, boot up, told to open EVT file & start Test!

                    How the hell was I to know the Examiner had arrived that morning and loaded the C & G test into the EVT folder.
                    Last edited by Diver; 5 July 2007, 21:55.
                    Confusion is a natural state of being

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                      #50
                      Originally posted by TheFaqqer
                      My wife did the same kind of thing:

                      MrsF: Oh I can't stand Sue, she's a real bitch. Do you know who I mean?
                      Colleague: Yes, she's my mum
                      I did the opposite, just after I'd started a new job, at lunch one day.

                      Me: the guy I'm working for, *name*, is a really nice bloke. He's really helped me a lot, I'm lucky to be in his team. Do you know him?
                      Colleague: I'll tell him you said so when I see him at home later. I'm his fiance.

                      The moral is, never slag anyone off - it's bound to go wrong one day.

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