This makes me want to puke!

[Mordac]

Should have been an employee. Could have sat on my arse for the last 201 days getting paid to go cycling, or masturbating like a chimp

Well, that was a waste of a non-disclosure agreement...

[Whorty]

Well, that was a waste of a non-disclosure agreement...

Damn, I didn't realise we had to sign an NDA regarding our wanking routine! Can I sign mine retrospectively? Can I borrow someone's pen please?

[NotAllThere]

Coronavirus: We won'''t surrender North to hardship, mayor vows - BBC News

FFS! Everyone else is trying to work their arses off, while some get to stay at home, not pay for transport, not have to pay to go out. eat out etc, exercise, learn new things, **** off to Spain and bring stuff back, and still get paid 2/3 of their wages for staying at home! While those with Ltd get **** all! Bollocks.

Says the Covid-19 profiteer.

[MarillionFan]

Says the Covid-19 profiteer.

I've been working my arse off I'll have you know. Those £50 bottles of Dettol didn't send themselves.

[OwlHoot]

But you could have if you'd been a ltd director with a PAYE salary and been furloughed. You'd have got 80% of your salary, but you were busy selling overpriced chalk and pokemon cards

Not so - The furlough scheme ended in June. So if your inside-IR35 contract ended after that and you've been sitting on your arse ever since then you're plumb out of luck!

[Zigenare]

Damn, I didn't realise we had to sign an NDA regarding our wanking routine! Can I sign mine retrospectively? Can I borrow someone's pen please?

If you can still write you're not doing it properly! Put some effort into it!