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The Good Advice Thread

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    The Good Advice Thread

    Having read a number of posts this morning which contain 'good' advice.

    I am going to Kemptown Races today as most of the 'good advice' posters will have a system for making millions on gambling which approach should I adopt.

    a) Make the favourites
    b) Go for rank outsiders
    c) Choose the horses my colour
    d) If the jockey looks like a winner bet on him.
    e) Go for complex trios / doubles.
    f) Study the form guide and write a complex prediction system using SQL but dont ask Dimprawn for a modelling tool as he might say Access
    g) Agree some odds with the booky and watch the race, then notice that another booky gave better odds so tell the jockey that one booky thought he was tulip and cry like a baby because I could have got better off another one.
    h) If I lost the first race, but the punter next to me said it was a good bet but then lost, so he says unlucky mate. Ask him for all of the money I could have won otherwise sue his ass for £30000k in a smalls claim court while representing myself, then take the Racecourse to the cleaners after reading Litigation for Dummies on the Train to my new contract. Then write letters and take phone calls and put all my energy into sueing the racecourse while posting on CUK telling other people what they should do when in fact I live in a Bedsit and work writing Access Macros for a small 5 man software house owned by a bloke called Burt who reckons I could earn £15k a year if I wasnt such a knob!!!!

    and relax.
    What happens in General, stays in General.
    You know what they say about assumptions!

    #2
    My advice is just enjoy it for what it is. If you win anything then it's a bonus. Just enjoy the day.

    Comment


      #3
      De Kemptown racetrack five miles long, Oh! Doo-da! Day! you know.

      Oh no hang on! that was Camptown racetrack
      bloggoth

      If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
      John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

      Comment


        #4
        Sod the betting - just get pissed and cheer every winner.

        Comment


          #5
          I only ever put a bet on the horses that have odds of 100-1. They only win about once in a thousand races but the feeling you get when you pick up your winnings is unbeatable

          Comment


            #6
            £1 a pint of Guiness yesterday. I have the farts from hell today.

            Bet £40 per race, won £288 on the first race and so stayed a head for the whole day. Pissed, fed & gambling and still came home £150 up.

            Result
            What happens in General, stays in General.
            You know what they say about assumptions!

            Comment


              #7
              My advice

              Don't eat the yellow snow.

              Comment

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