Dark Days...

[mb31]

GJABS would disagree

My best friend is bipolar and HS she loves it, the trouble she has gotten me into over the years you would not believe !!!

I can believe it.

I wouldn't want to glorify HS though. A young lass was sexting me from a psychiatric unit last year and she wanted a visit. It got really disturbing when she started sending pictures of her body lacerated from self harm. On one hand I would never block anyone with acute illness but on the other hand I was never going to be able to fulfill the fantasy. She lives a long way from Lancs so that was a natural barrier. I'm lucky I didn't end up divorced last year or I probably wouldn't be here to tell the tale.

[GJABS]

A young lass was sexting me from a psychiatric unit last year and she wanted a visit. It got really disturbing when she started sending pictures of her body lacerated from self harm. On one hand I would never block anyone with acute illness but on the other hand I was never going to be able to fulfill the fantasy.

Ah, but you are making the assumption that she wants the fantasy to be fulfilled. Actually it is quite likely, based on my (very recent) experience in the gay world (Grindr), that she is just using the fantasy as a lure, to bring blokes in to chat to her.
If she's anything like the types of guys who often message me on Grindr, she's probably got low self esteem. She wants validation - guys to show that they are attracted to her, not sex per se.

What I do instead, is just chat to them about anything and everything. Make a joke, neg them, just have a laugh - and you'll cheer them up in no time. And doing that makes ME feel happier as well - even if there's no chance of any nookie. It puts me in a good frame of mind too. Just by being different from the "other" blokes who try to pester her for sex, makes you appear different and better than the other guys - and paradoxically more likely to get laid (if that was ever what you wanted).

t'is a win-win solution, I'm finding.

Actually, by coincidence last night I did meet a young chap who also self harmed (could see lines on his arms), was very under-weight (anorexia), and told me about his experience as an in-patient at a local mental hospital. Also borderline personality disorder.
Whereas many guys would have been a bit freaked-out by these disclosures, I just took it in my stride and chatted to him as if it was the most normal thing in the world to have these problems. I think it worked, and we had a great meetup - with him texting me soon after I left - fairly rare.

[MarillionFan]

I found it interesting that the advice from the 'professionals' is that if you are on the edge of suicide then broadcast to the few not the many to avoid overload and fixation. That may be true but then again without this thread I wouldn't be able to identify the few to broadcast to at CUK and the fact it's an anonymous forum makes a difference for ease of disclosure. On mental health forums you often get lost in the noise.

Regarding mental health awareness at work, and at the risk of the Tory caricatures joining, I'm very cynical about it.

After targeting the majority of their NHS austerity cuts at mental Health services, the Tories realised that the service was in crisis and not fit for purpose so rather than injecting more funding they performed a crafty manoeuvre by displacing responsibility for mental health and well-being onto employers under the oversight of HSE. Mental health became part of company briefings and metrics, posters cropped up in staff kitchens and volunteers became mental health champions. Most of the champions have limited knowledge of enduring conditions and tend to compound all mental illnesses into mild stress, anxiety and depression. The aim is to signpost people to help and encourage them to exercise or perform mindfulness as a cure all.

In other words the employers passed the responsibility back onto employees to self manage or see a GP. People in their droves then booked GP appointment. GPs referred to mental health services and an already overstretched services saw a threefold increase in referrals but without any additional funds to increase capacity. A psychiatrist who is the source of this information told me there is a mild hysteria going on, for example three out of four patients who are referred for potential Bipolar actually have mild anxiety. Unfortunately Bipolar has become very fashionable, some people want to be like Mariah Carey and other people look for an excuse for errant behaviour e.g. I cheated on my wife three times but it's the bipolar. That's not to say that 1 in 4 genuine cases are not important to catch but that the primary care system of referrals is not resourced well enough to handle milder conditions either and pass the buck quickly.

So, thanks to the Tories resources are stretched more than ever and most companies claim to be good mental health employers but in fact they are filtering down responsibility through 'awareness' with no real funding or cultural change. On the plus side, contractors can now use H&S to leverage mental health support rather than relying on inside IR35 employment law. If you get shafted and can see a systemic problem then you can report a company to the regulator but don't expect to work for the client again unless it's anonymous. They don't discriminate they say.

That's my cynical rant over for the day. Dimprawn will probably join now and tell me that BoJO will increase access to bipolar meds through our American friends so we can all be on antidepressants like they are....bright days indeed.

What a load of self loathing indulgent political twaddle.

[Whorty]

What a load of self loathing indulgent political twaddle.

Instead of just posting a single, broad brush, useless sentence, why don't you break down the statement and give reasons why you don't agree? Just because you're a Boris fanboy, doesn't mean you or he is right. So come on, convince us if it's so obvious.

[mb31]

Ah, but you are making the assumption that she wants the fantasy to be fulfilled. Actually... she wants validation.

GJABS, it was me that needed the validation and she wanted love. I can't blame everything on bipolar. It had all the hallmarks of a mid life crisis with me edging towards my 40s and flattered by the attentions of forbidden fruits... a young girl in her 20s playing her A game with nothing off limits. Every middle aged man's wet dream perhaps. And so I cut back on communication, backed off, she got Sectioned and made several attempts to take her own life for which I felt responsible.

After a year she's moved on and has a boyfriend. We keep in touch every now and again.

What a load of self loathing indulgent political twaddle.

You're entitled to your opinion MF but do you really need to give me negative reputation points for this thread and call me a sockie in private? Do you not have a better way to spend these moments?

What I would add to the arguably self indulgent twaddle is that mild depression, anxiety and stress can be severely debilitation without the right support. Interventions like medication may not be required but in employment you need a good supportive manager. In my career I've worked for only a couple of managers that fit that category and I've seen a few fall by the wayside. Mild depression can develop into moderate or severe depression. Hopefully it's a one off acute illness but you never fully recover. In my case I have a life long incurable disorder but I don't consider myself to be special and especially not in comparison to those with milder conditions.

The other thing I would say about the Tories is the benefit reform was required by the implementation has been poor. They looked to save 20% on the DLA budget and people with long term mental illnesses took the brunt of the cuts. This has been overturned to some degree by tribunals and the high court but it's not a good reflection on a party that claims mental health services are a priority.

[wattaj]

The other thing I would say about the Tories is the benefit reform was required by the implementation has been poor. They looked to save 20% on the DLA budget and people with long term mental illnesses took the brunt of the cuts. This has been overturned to some degree by tribunals and the high court but it's not a good reflection on a party that claims mental health services are a priority.

Find another boggie man; every single Government of any colour has cut mental health budgets in real terms. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Go for a walk or take it over to Mumsnet.

[Zigenare]

Find another boggie man; every single Government of any colour has cut mental health budgets in real terms. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Go for a walk or take it over to Mumsnet.

Don't bring facts into this.

[mb31]

Don't bring facts into this.

It depends how far you go back and what you call facts.

Thanks for more bad rep points Zigenare. I won't go tit for tat because it's all rather pathetic.

[BR14]

take it over to Mumsnet.

this

[MarillionFan]

Instead of just posting a single, broad brush, useless sentence, why don't you break down the statement and give reasons why you don't agree? Just because you're a Boris fanboy, doesn't mean you or he is right. So come on, convince us if it's so obvious.

I just don't have the energy, it'been drained.