Infatuation attack arrgh!

[SimonMac]

Get to the docs and get yourself on a course of citalopram or similar. It's not a miracle cure hut it balances your brain out so you can focus on being you. If you can't sort you brain whizzing around the sleep becomes a problem and you are on a downward spiral. At least with the chemicals in your brain at the right level you've a fighting chance of staying focused.

Don't give me this 'real men don't do docs/pills/anti depressants' that's just bollocks.
Real men do what real men need to do to stay real men.

There is no stigma about them. More than half the teachers at my other half's school have been on them for years to deal with teaching primary school kids in a bad area. They swear by them.

Not the answer but hope it helps.

I tried to kill myself, I took citalopram, I am still here.

As for the OP's main point, yes I can understand, people are social creatures and we have a primal urge to survive beyond our own generation.

If tinder isn't your thing, try adult friend clubs, they do exist and they aren't full or tarbies, they are full of people like you who struggle to make social connections in a modern world.

[SimonMac]

It's come on because of the smiling couples you see all over social media. It ain't real.

This made me laugh based on last night's message from your good self

[Hat1rmathA]

I tried to kill myself, I took citalopram, I am still here.

As for the OP's main point, yes I can understand, people are social creatures and we have a primal urge to survive beyond our own generation.

If tinder isn't your thing, try adult friend clubs, they do exist and they aren't full or tarbies, they are full of people like you who struggle to make social connections in a modern world.

I never had a relationship issue. I met my other half when I was emotionally down 19 years ago because lack of success in Jobs right after my engineering college. She pulled me up and restored my self-confidence. I'd bit of infatuations for two other women (extra marital) on 2011/12 but that soon gone away. I think the root cause of that infatuation was not that I stopped loving my other half or she had stopped loving me but it was lack of enough sex in the relationship. My other half soon realized and back to normal and even far better than first half of relationship (2004 - 2012).

I am alone in Europe since past 19 months and family has been resettled in Bangalore, India. Seeing them every eight weeks. This has some toll on my mental health last year. I had developed insomnia when I was at Cardiff on last year June. I must admit, me too developed suicidal thoughts after complete lack of sleep for 5 consecutive days. By knowing how tough and time consuming to reach to specialist in mental health in UK, I called my GP in Bangalore and he advised to see him asap. I'd quit my contract and flown to Bangalore. I went to my GP in Manipal Hospital in Bangalore straight from airport (my wife picked me from airport). The GP listened and recommended to a counselor and advised sleeping pill. I had sleeping pill for one night and had some sleep after five days. I met the counselor lady next day morning in same hospital and after listening she recommended psychiatrist. I met psychiatrist on same day at his private chamber and he diagnosed and told this is nothing serious, this is no depression, this is anxiety disorder which impacted my sleep. He initially recommended some pills and later changed the pills and reduced the dose. I recovered and regained myself in less than ten days after returning to India and going through the treatment.

I started applying from Bangalore for new contract and soon landed into one and flown in to UK in next two weeks. I could imagine what would have happened to me if I would have gone to walk-in GP in Cardiff and struggle through the queues in NHS and chances were high never diagnosed properly. This overall world class treatment and right diagnosis costs me around Rs 7000 (GBP 75) by seeing GP, Counselor, psychiatrist in total five times in four weeks and including medicine (excluding air fare which was like GBP 1300 because of purchasing right on last moment).

Sometimes I feel proud that I am an Indian with UK passport who can enjoy good things in both part of the world And this is the reason why India is at top medical tourism list of countries.

The reason for this rant is the right diagnosis is important, the anti-depression drugs increase suicidal thoughts and you should never have it until you are properly diagnosed.

[BrilloPad]

As for the OP's main point, yes I can understand, people are social creatures and we have a primal urge to survive beyond our own generation.

Luckily nature provides a contraceptive. Its called children.

[GJABS]

G-JABS, it could be hormonal, your body telling you to get out there and breed before it's too late. Some people refer to it as a mid-life crisis.

This.

Yes, it might be hormonal. It certainly has adrenaline in the mix.

Thing is, as I've said, I'm no alpha.
In life there are winners, and losers. It's part of evolution. Through possibly no fault of my own, I'm not on the winning side.
There are lots of things going through my head, not all of which I have put on here.

[GJABS]

OK, to add, it came to a bit of a head this morning. I got into the office, my mind wasn't right at all. Couldn't think straight. Unable to contemplate doing any intellectual work. Panic attack - felt faint - got onto floor in case I blacked out - three members of staff came over to help me to the first aid room.
To be fair, the company (client) could not have been more helpful - even though I'm a contractor there instead of a permie. After an hour with me, one of them walked me home (one mile) - well above the call of duty. And they gave me access to the company external mental health provider website, told me to call them, which I did - more poring out of the guts of the issue.

So I am at home today, trying to be as de-stressed as possible.

Thinking about it, I think what has happened has been the mental equivalent of vomiting when you have eaten some bad food. First you feel queasy, then you throw up, then you feel a bit ill for a time, then you recover.
I'm at the feeling ill bit at the moment.

Thanks for your kind words.

Hopefully this depression will be short-lived.

[mudskipper]

This.

Yes, it might be hormonal. It certainly has adrenaline in the mix.

Thing is, as I've said, I'm no alpha.
In life there are winners, and losers. It's part of evolution. Through possibly no fault of my own, I'm not on the winning side.
There are lots of things going through my head, not all of which I have put on here.

TBH, the people on CUK who like to present themselves as alpha males usually come across as a a bit of a dick

I think we all have unrealistic expectations of what "ideal" looks like and what we should aspire towards.

There are some very good looking people with lots of talent and charisma, but the vast majority of us fall into the "perfectly acceptable" category - and there's nothing wrong with that!

[mudskipper]

OK, to add, it came to a bit of a head this morning. I got into the office, my mind wasn't right at all. Couldn't think straight. Unable to contemplate doing any intellectual work. Panic attack - felt faint - got onto floor in case I blacked out - three members of staff came over to help me to the first aid room.
To be fair, the company (client) could not have been more helpful - even though I'm a contractor there instead of a permie. After an hour with me, one of them walked me home (one mile) - well above the call of duty. And they gave me access to the company external mental health provider website, told me to call them, which I did - more poring out of the guts of the issue.

So I am at home today, trying to be as de-stressed as possible.

Thinking about it, I think what has happened has been the mental equivalent of vomiting when you have eaten some bad food. First you feel queasy, then you throw up, then you feel a bit ill for a time, then you recover.
I'm at the feeling ill bit at the moment.

Thanks for your kind words.

Hopefully this depression will be short-lived.

Get well soon

[scooterscot]

If time and money allow take a holiday pronto. Somewhere sunny, half-board, lazy as possible.

[GJABS]

Get well soon

Thank you