THE worst first date ever

[tiggat]

thats brexit britain for you

[scooterscot]

gardyloo

"Interjection. gardyloo. (Scotland, obsolete) Used by servants in medieval Scotland to warn passers-by of waste about to be thrown from a window into the street below. The term was still in use as late as the 1930s and 1940s, when many people had no indoor toilets."

[barrydidit]

gardyloo (Scotland, obsolete)

This is one of those rare occasions when you make perfect sense.

[scooterscot]

This is one of those rare occasions when you make perfect sense.

ditto

[fullyautomatix]

My sister called me up at 9.27 on a Sunday morning once, about 5 years ago, she was hungover. She'd stayed at a family friends house and they had since gone to work. She decided to use the facilities and relieve some of her hungover state by emptying her bowels into their porcelain.

Unfortunately for her, the shrine which she had picked (there were 2 in the house, typical) wouldn't flush. I guided her through a few troubleshooting tips, made some suggestions, but clearly, nothing was happening. What made my eyebrows raise and hairs stand on end however were the words that followed all the failed steps... "Don't worry bruv, i've fixed it!" - My sister is not renowned for her DIY skills.

30 minutes later I hear a knock on our door and she turns up with a Tesco bag in her hand, holding it out as far in front of her as possible... Clearly, she had gone with the "manual removal method" to clear our good friends lavatory out, and the offending item went into the bin. When I asked her how she had removed the offensive item from the toilet, she simply said "I found the biggest LADEL I could, fished it out, and that was that" ......

..... 6 months later she told me what happened to the ladel; she detolled it, washed it, dried it, and put it back with the other utensils!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never had the heart to explain the story to our family friend, but haven't been over for dinner since......

Honest to god, that's a true story from start to finish.

I feel like CUK invented an emoticon just for this...

[scooterscot]

I feel like CUK invented an emoticon just for this...

indeed - that was total hurl blow chunks

[BlasterBates]

Do tube train windows count?

absolutely....

and.... ?

[mattfx]

indeed - that was total hurl blow chunks

That Emoticon is preeeetttyyyyy accurate. It would've been almost acceptable if she had just thrown the damn ladel away with the tulip....

[Platypus]

Honest to god, that's a true story from start to finish.

And the winner is ........

[Hobosapien]

Got to be one of the most embarrassing reasons for calling out the fire brigade.

Though I remember a story going around at college about a student getting a bj from his girlfriend, got his foreskin stuck in her teeth brace and had to call out the fire brigade.