Plan B

[MrMarkyMark]

If you need a debt collector for kebab loan defaulters then I'm your man. Kebab loan defaulter debt collection has been my Plan B for ages but I've been waiting until the market was ready.

Oh Bugger, its been passed the wrong way

[MarillionFan]

Also, registered kebab "hothouses" dotted around cities. That way, if I'm bidding on the site and im doing well but I'm light on stock, I may be able to borrow kebabs from another part of town. Sell those kebabs at a profit during peak time. Then during quiet time I buy kebabs cheaper and replace the borrowed stock at the silo. Locking in a profit.

And, once a deal is done to deliver a kebab. I, as the deliverer who won the bid, can simply sell the deal on to another deliverer who is nearer the drop off and has less cost to drop off. Kebabs direct facilitates that transaction and takes a commission.

Great idea. You can get Jade Goody to be the face & kebab of your kebab.

[MrMarkyMark]

Great idea. You can get Jade Goody to be the face & kebab of your kebab.

You're just bitter because Clarkson wouldn't endorse your sledges

[TestMangler]

Great idea. You can get Jade Goody to be the face & kebab of your kebab.

[vetran]

You need to consider kebab futures and collateralised derivatives.

Only one answer to that

[Fronttoback]

I've had a right laugh this afternoon on this thread.

Cheers

[vetran]

Oh Bugger, its been passed the wrong way

you know its to the left

[northernladyuk]

One idea is you could sell "English" kebabs. Made in England with English ingredients, with guaranteed non-halal or kosher meat. With the rise of nationalism, and pride in this country, you might be on to a winner selling to those who newly value those attributes.

You could render down surplus British pensioners returning from the EU.

[tomtomagain]

I think you missed the point, Tom.

I'm a kebab broker. A stinky fixer, if you like.

I hook you up to a kebab. That kebab may not have come from a kebab shop, per se.

Get it? It's scalable.

There are a lot of Turks in North London that can do a mean shish in a sandwhich maker.

Or, if you are small and want to speculate - you could go and buy 20 kebabs which you store at home. Then, you get on the kebabs direct site and bid for the jobs - then you get on your moped and shift that stock at a profit.

That's Deliveroo.

[Bacchus]

I'm a kebab broker. A stinky fixer, if you like.

I hook you up to a kebab. That kebab may not have come from a kebab shop, per se.

Sheesh - you're missing a trick with this! Once you've got the delivery model and supply chain set up and flexible, you need to set up "kebab-hab" for getting the drunks to kick their addiction.

Sooner or later they will fall off the wagon and go for a kebab then you've got them again, you'll have a circular motion of fatties getting addicted to 'babs and then going cold turkey (or cold chicken doner), with you making a fat pile of cash on both sides of the equation.

It will be just like the food industry selling low-fat "diet" options with extra sugar - the more you eat the diet options, the fatter you get SO - here's the clever part - the more you eat the diet options. Ker-ching!