Harrowing Beggars

[Big Blue Plymouth]

I've travelled quite a lot and have seen some sights but sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind me what continent I'm on and what century I'm living in.

There's a woman with weeping, open sores all over her legs and she just sits on the pavement crying. With a cap on the ground in front of her.

Then there's the smallest woman in the world who can't even be 2 feet tall. The placard next to her invites you to pick her up and have a selfie with her. And people do...

Talking about going backwards....

[OwlHoot]

I've travelled quite a lot and have seen some sights but sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind me what continent I'm on and what century I'm living in.

There's a woman with weeping, open sores all over her legs and she just sits on the pavement crying. With a cap on the ground in front of her.

Then there's the smallest woman in the world who can't even be 2 feet tall. The placard next to her invites you to pick her up and have a selfie with her. And people do...

Talking about going backwards....

Flip me, nothing changes. Back in Tudor times professional beggars called pallairds would deliberately maintain sores on their limbs to elicit sympathy:

Horrible Histories: The Terrible Tudors

• An autem mort is a woman who steals clothes off washing lines.

• A hooker is not a prostitute, a hooker is a thief who uses a long pole that is hooked at one end to grab whatever that catches the thief's fancy.

• A foist is a pickpocket.

• A prigger of prances is a horse thief.

• A ruffler is a beggar who uses sad stories about having served in some war and suffering from injuries in that war to get money.

• A drummerer is a beggar who pretends to be deaf and dumb to earn sympathy.

• An abram man is a beggar who pretends to be mad, usually dancing and talking incoherently.

• A pallaird is a beggar who deliberately creates ugly sores to pass them off as signs of some dreadful disease in order to gain sympathy. By a way, you can do this yourself by mixing crowfoot, spearwort, and salt onto the skin of the body part you want to show off, press the area to a linen cloth until it sticks, and then tear the cloth off to create a dreadful-looking raw lesion on that area. Then pour rat poison over the lesion to make it look even worse. Now you can pretend that you're suffering from some dreadful illness and ask people for money. By the way, this method really hurts the first time you do it but if you do it often, you'll get used to the pain!

• A doxy is a conwoman who tells fortunes and what-not while stealing anything she can get her hands on and stuffing her loot into a bag that she carries on her back. A popular method to steal chicken is by feeding the chicken some food attached to a hook, wait until the chicken is hooked (so to speak), and stuff the chicken quickly under the skirt.

:::

[DimPrawn]

• An autem mort is a woman who steals clothes off washing lines.

• A hooker is not a prostitute, a hooker is a thief who uses a long pole that is hooked at one end to grab whatever that catches the thief's fancy.

• A foist is a pickpocket.

• A prigger of prances is a horse thief.

• A ruffler is a beggar who uses sad stories about having served in some war and suffering from injuries in that war to get money.

• A drummerer is a beggar who pretends to be deaf and dumb to earn sympathy.

• An abram man is a beggar who pretends to be mad, usually dancing and talking incoherently.

• A pallaird is a beggar who deliberately creates ugly sores to pass them off as signs of some dreadful disease in order to gain sympathy. By a way, you can do this yourself by mixing crowfoot, spearwort, and salt onto the skin of the body part you want to show off, press the area to a linen cloth until it sticks, and then tear the cloth off to create a dreadful-looking raw lesion on that area. Then pour rat poison over the lesion to make it look even worse. Now you can pretend that you're suffering from some dreadful illness and ask people for money. By the way, this method really hurts the first time you do it but if you do it often, you'll get used to the pain!

• A doxy is a conwoman who tells fortunes and what-not while stealing anything she can get her hands on and stuffing her loot into a bag that she carries on her back. A popular method to steal chicken is by feeding the chicken some food attached to a hook, wait until the chicken is hooked (so to speak), and stuff the chicken quickly under the skirt.

You missed the worst culprit. Many a CUKker has fallen for this one.

• A wife is a once attractive young single woman, who once wed, fleeces the unsuspecting victim of their life's wealth, then divorces said gullible soul, taking their large castle and lands with the approval of royal legal council.

[Big Blue Plymouth]

Flip me, nothing changes. Back in Tudor times professional beggars called pallairds would deliberately maintain sores on their limbs to elicit sympathy:

Horrible Histories: The Terrible Tudors

Yes, that's her gambit. You see them breastfeeding malnourished kids too for the same ends.

[RSoles]

When I lived in Hastings, there was a dwarf who, for the price of a pint, would stand on a barstool, raise his arms above his head, yell something or other and launch himself sideways onto the floor.

There were only four channels on TV then......

[NotAllThere]

I've travelled quite a lot and have seen some sights but sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind me what continent I'm on and what century I'm living in.

There's a woman with weeping, open sores all over her legs and she just sits on the pavement crying. With a cap on the ground in front of her.

Then there's the smallest woman in the world who can't even be 2 feet tall. The placard next to her invites you to pick her up and have a selfie with her. And people do...

Talking about going backwards....

Entirely testicular. If you give a toss, donate to any of the charities that help the homeless and vulnerable, and donate on a regular basis. Otherwise, keep your pewling whining to yourself.

Oh, and educate yourself about professional beggars.

[MarillionFan]

I've travelled quite a lot and have seen some sights but sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind me what continent I'm on and what century I'm living in.

There's a woman with weeping, open sores all over her legs and she just sits on the pavement crying. With a cap on the ground in front of her.

Then there's the smallest woman in the world who can't even be 2 feet tall. The placard next to her invites you to pick her up and have a selfie with her. And people do...

Talking about going backwards....

Wow, the prositutes in your area sound better than the ones you get in Leeds.

[MrMarkyMark]

I've travelled quite a lot and have seen some sights but sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind me what continent I'm on and what century I'm living in.

There's a woman with weeping, open sores all over her legs and she just sits on the pavement crying. With a cap on the ground in front of her.

Then there's the smallest woman in the world who can't even be 2 feet tall. The placard next to her invites you to pick her up and have a selfie with her. And people do...

Talking about going backwards....

FFS.

You really haven't traveled much at all really, have you?

[SueEllen]

FFS.

You really haven't traveled much at all really, have you?

When they start chopping limbs of children then he will notice.

[Big Blue Plymouth]

Entirely testicular. If you give a toss, donate to any of the charities that help the homeless and vulnerable, and donate on a regular basis. Otherwise, keep your pewling whining to yourself.

Oh, and educate yourself about professional beggars.

That's a little bit harsh nst if you don't mind me saying so.

I already go out and do out reach work for a local charity for the homeless here on Bristol. Basically go out and give them access to a shower, clean socks and pants etc. So definitely not being testicular. Whatever that is...

By the way I'm pissed so scouse the grammar.