Apologies, bring your own ...

[MrMarkyMark]

Keyboard? You mean you don't have a butler and team of writers to make your posts?

I did, but had to let them go, they started to give the MMM posts an air of credibility

[BrilloPad]

One of the "power statements" from NLUKs new motivational course?

I was going to sign up. But then I asked my accountant who told me not to....

[MrMarkyMark]

..

Sounds like you need to change your accountant.

[Phil Rouge]

But he's on a break so won't reply.

Knockout!