Agile - at what point do you just tell someone to take a hike?

**BrilloPad** · 8 March 2016, 09:28

Originally posted by Gumbo Robot View Post

When they start posting on CUK? When they buy a house?

**bobspud** · 8 March 2016, 09:39

Just do yourself a favour and update your CV.

Having seen this sort of poorly deformed Agile crap before I can safely say that this will be the least of the issues. The following months will entail sprint upon sprint of focus on the wrong things...

BTW: Getting everyone to stand up is a nasty subversive way to prove that you were all in it together rather than the product owner being the one that caused a car crash. At the end of the project the Product Owner can say well they all stood up every sprint and no-one said it was going wrong to me...

**NibblyPig** · 8 March 2016, 09:44

Did they follow the usual process to become agile?

Step One: Don't be anything remotely resembling agile. Everyone is winging it, it's a total cluster****
Step Two: Decide you're going to do Agile to fix these problems
Step Three: Declare yourselves an Agile company. Have a few people do some vaguely Agile stuff they read on the internet. Rest of the company not on board or unaware there's even a shift.
Step Four: ???
Step Five: Be an Agile company, pat yourselves on the back, trainwreck continues.

**VectraMan** · 8 March 2016, 09:46

It's taken you 2 weeks to do a combo box?

**vetran** · 8 March 2016, 09:56

Originally posted by VectraMan View Post

You did a combo box in two weeks - wow

Positive comments only, sarcasm needs to be dressed up!

**vetran** · 8 March 2016, 10:07

Originally posted by NibblyPig View Post

Did they follow the usual process to become agile?

Step One: Don't be anything remotely resembling agile. Everyone is winging it, it's a total cluster****
Step Two: Decide you're going to do Agile to fix these problems

Step two point 1: Evangalise about Agile endlessly mention it in every meeting.
Step two point 2: Send all the grown ups on Agile courses in sunny climes. Continue to ration toilet paper because of company finances.
Step two point 3

ecide your company is special and decide you are going to have your own flavour of Agile.
Step two point 4:Implement your new flavour of Agile with poorly defined measures that can mean whatever the
bosses want them to mean.
Step two point 5: Run internal training courses that bear no relation to the professional ones or reality and stipulate there will be consequences if you don't comply.
Step Three: Declare yourselves an Agile company. Have a few people do some vaguely Agile stuff they read on the internet. Rest of the company not on board or unaware there's even a shift.
Step Four: ??? Deliver, not important what so long as you can get through the next gate.
Step Five: Be an Agile company, pat yourselves on the back, trainwreck continues.

added a few points to a great list.

**ContractorOnAMotorbike** · 8 March 2016, 10:17

Originally posted by Gumbo Robot View Post

Well I just have, kind of...

They have a flavour of sprint retrospective here where we all have to come to the front of the class and show teacher what we've been doing for the last 2 weeks.

There are 5 of us, we all know how it's supposed to work - one person can do the demo rather than a game of musical chairs just so I can demo a combo box FFS.

Oh dear, not expecting a renewal here - but there's only so much of this nonsense I can take!

I fully empathise mate. Unfortunately not a lot can be done. If "Show and Tell" and Retrospectives have taken hold then you'll just have to grin and bear it until such time that you are fed up and look for something else.

If the work environment is otherwise ok and you're happy with the day rate then I would think of this as a minor inconvenience.

My current gig is thankfully not like this but I have been in a similar situation before.

**DimPrawn** · 8 March 2016, 10:23

At no point do I tell someone to take a hike if, all or the majority of the below are true:

1. The rate is good
2. The location is an easy commute
3. The client eatery is good
4. The women in the office are exceptional eye candy and / or desparate nymphos
5. The chances of renewal is good

I just suck it up, make suggestions on how to improve the process, smile, nod, fetch the team coffees.

**Gumbo Robot** · 8 March 2016, 10:27

Originally posted by ContractorOnAMotorbike View Post

I fully empathise mate. Unfortunately not a lot can be done. If "Show and Tell" and Retrospectives have taken hold then you'll just have to grin and bear it until such time that you are fed up and look for something else.

If the work environment is otherwise ok and you're happy with the day rate then I would think of this as a minor inconvenience.

My current gig is thankfully not like this but I have been in a similar situation before.

I have no issues with demos. It's just the way each team member has to demo the bits they've been responsible for.

It's infantilising.....

That said, the tentacles of agile don't interfere with the 9-5 as much as other places I've worked so, as you say, grin and bear it is the order of the day for now.

Agile - at what point do you just tell someone to take a hike?