IT industry words or phrases that make your heart sink....

[original PM]

You've made that one up. I mean, if someone said that to me I'd just look at them as if they were a total moron

We actually know it as a whiteboard but.....

[TykeMerc]

We actually know it as a whiteboard but.....

I must admit that if someone in any seriousness called a whiteboard an "Information Radiator" I would be obliged to kill them and any descendants they have with extreme prejudice.
There's noxious jargon, even buzzwords, but that's an unforgivable offence.

[alluvial]

Centre of Excellence

Always populated with a bunch of feckwit muppets that will proselytise on the correct font and formatting of a document but haven't got a clue when it comes to actually doing anything meaningful or useful.

Did I say they're a bunch of feckwit muppets?

[thelastrosbif]

"Lets discuss that offline"

Its a team meeting not a cyber chat room ffs :'(

[darmstadt]

"Lets discuss that offline"

Its a team meeting not a cyber chat room ffs :'(

We have that one quite often but only during conference calls and in particular when the Americans are on as they tend to waffle on and on and on and on with stuff we don't want to hear so its taken offline between the relevant parties.

[cojak]

Centre of Excellence

Always populated with a bunch of feckwit muppets that will proselytise on the correct font and formatting of a document but haven't got a clue when it comes to actually doing anything meaningful or useful.

Did I say they're a bunch of feckwit muppets?

And reviewers of said CofE.

[Chuck]

"Lets discuss that offline"

Its a team meeting not a cyber chat room ffs :'(

Brilliant. I hear that every day in one of the stand ups I attend. I will question it now and suggest that the person is an idiot.

[FatLazyContractor]

"What does the SME think about this?"

[_V_]

"Add shareholder value...."

WTF? WGAF.....

[Dark Black]

"Planning Poker" brilliant! Never heared it before, but certainly going to use it from now on.

It's an agile thing... (smiley aimed at agile not you!)

Set of cards numbered 1 to 10, everyone has a set, there is a brief (and I do mean brief) overview of each task, then everyone gets to guesstimate via their cards as to how long they think the task will take...

Ridiculous. Many times I refused to vote since there wasn't enough detail in the overview.

First time I saw this I nearly fell off my chair laughing.. Software engineering goes to kindergarten.