Times where you nearly 'bought the farm', had things been slightly different

[rl4engc]

I'll start, one of about 3 I can recall.

About 10 years ago one winter morning setting off for work, car (old 4x4, big gap between sills and floor - this is relevant) was parked in the drive of my rented house. Having to defrost the windows, I opened the door and started the ignition. I'd left the car in reverse with the handbrake on..

Car started moving backwards with me flailing between the floor and the door, trying (and failing) to knock it out of gear and/or apply the footbrake. I managed to push myself clear and the car came to a stop at bottom of the garden after hitting one of the concrete fence posts.

To make matters worse, the house backed on to an active railway; had the car gone through the fence it could have rolled down the embankment on to this and caused a derailment.

Lesson learnt: Never, ever start a car up unless you're sat in it with feet on Brake, Clutch and in Neutral.

[DimPrawn]

Some hot pasta on my lap nearly caused me to crash a Tornado once. Have I ever told you this story?

[alphadog]

Went tandem hang gliding on a beach once. Took off being towed behind a 4x4 via a rope with a rubber band 'safety' weak link.

Got about 10m off the sand when the rubber band unexpectedly snapped - hang glider stalled and we slammed into the beach. Bent the hang glider and just about broke my leg.

Lesson learned: don't use rubbers.

[MrMarkyMark]

FTFY.

Some hot piece of totty on my lap nearly caused me to crash a Tornado once. Have I ever told you this story?

[BrilloPad]

1987. In my capri. Thought I was jack the lad. aw a row of 12 cars and decided to take them all. Suddenly the road runs out of overtaking space. Bollards in road. I aimed to miss the bollards by an inch. I knew I would total the last car I was overtaking. No way out. I closed my eyes.

And I was still alive. The last car must have braked.

Lesson learned - none. I have had a few more like that since. Until old age and children stopped me from being such a total moron and I downgraded to quite a moron.

[DimPrawn]

1987. In my capri. Thought I was jack the lad. aw a row of 12 cars and decided to take them all. Suddenly the road runs out of overtaking space. Bollards in road. I aimed to miss the bollards by an inch. I knew I would total the last car I was overtaking. No way out. I closed my eyes.

And I was still alive. The last car must have braked.

Lesson learned - none. I have had a few more like that since. Until old age and children stopped me from being such a total moron and I downgraded to quite a moron.

I was a passenger in a MkII Escort Mexico when my mate tried a similar thing. Except he totalled his car and the car that braked as he pulled in.

[MicrosoftBob]

I flatlined once in hospital when they put a plaster on my arm after removing a drip from said arm, and did the same later in the day trying to sit up in bed unaware of what had happened

[MrMarkyMark]

I have a number of these, unsure how many "lives" I have left.

For example, my GF and me were in the North of India, Kulu Valley to be precise. She caused us to be late for a bus that then fell off a cliff killing 80% of the passengers.

[ZARDOZ]

I'll start, one of about 3 I can recall.

About 10 years ago one winter morning setting off for work, car (old 4x4, big gap between sills and floor - this is relevant) was parked in the drive of my rented house. Having to defrost the windows, I opened the door and started the ignition. I'd left the car in reverse with the handbrake on..

Car started moving backwards with me flailing between the floor and the door, trying (and failing) to knock it out of gear and/or apply the footbrake. I managed to push myself clear and the car came to a stop at bottom of the garden after hitting one of the concrete fence posts.

To make matters worse, the house backed on to an active railway; had the car gone through the fence it could have rolled down the embankment on to this and caused a derailment.

Lesson learnt: Never, ever start a car up unless you're sat in it with feet on Brake, Clutch and in Neutral.

Good story but if you start an engine with the car in reverse the engine stalls.

[Pondlife]

Most recent was Monday evening what a taxi I was in decided to undertake and accelerate past the car in front only to nearly plow straight into a parked car with its hazards on.

tuliptuliptuliptuliptulip. Obviously since I'm British I still tipped him.