Proper crime news

[xoggoth]

Yobby seagulls:

There’s no doubt that seagull attacks are on the rise. Or at least, reports of seagull attacks are on the rise, which amounts to much the same thing.
....
But now there comes a third theory. And it’s the most bonkers yet. The gulls are ‘drunk’ on flying ants

Odd coincidence as was walking down my garden path earlier and some ants were swarming at edge of the lawn. A young sparrow was having a feast. Will I get attacked by sparrows tomorrow? Hitchcock's "The Birds" was the crappiest comedy film I ever saw. Much funnier if people were being torn to bits by Sparrows and Blue Tits.

[mudskipper]

Yobby seagulls? Make them do bird.

[AtW]

So I ask this - when will good law abiding citizens of this country have the means to defend themselves???

[mudskipper]

Yobby seagulls:

Much funnier if people were being torn to bits by Sparrows and Blue Tits.

I look forward to your next story

[greenlake]

But now there comes a third theory. And it’s the most bonkers yet. The gulls are ‘drunk’ on flying ants

Honest guv, I was blind drunk when I stole them crisps....