When your wife wants a divorce, give her everything she wants

[unixman]

I won't marry because of this, I've seen too many mates get totally screwed over, all good guys and in most cases no children and wife decided to leave them, and in most cases my mates are now having to live back with there parents.

I also had a now ex girfriend who I owned a place with she always said if we split I wouldnt screw you over promise .... we split and what she do screw me over, in her own words "I owed her £ just for being with me" ... I end up paying up because she wouldnt sign what required to sell the house if I didnt and I wanted to move on.

I'm sure alot of people will come back saying what a 'sad view you have', but I dont want to end up after 20 years of marriage living in a bed sit skint supporting my ex-wife.

I would be reluctant to get married for this reason. A friend of mine was left a broken man by his divorce, losing his wife, home, possessions and access to his child. He moved into a grotty place, from where he must now support his wife for the next X years, without having any of the benefits of having a family. When divorce happens, the wife loses a husband, but the husband loses his entire life - wife, family, house and future.

[Dallas]

I would be reluctant to get married for this reason. A friend of mine was left a broken man by his divorce, losing his wife, home, possessions and access to his child. He moved into a grotty place, from where he must now support his wife for the next X years, without having any of the benefits of having a family. When divorce happens, the wife loses a husband, but the husband loses his entire life - wife, family, house and future.

This is happening to the mid-life crisis that sits opposite me.

Just turned 50 he left wifey and 2 teenagers. A couple of long weekends in Spain with the boys and the veneer has just dropped off as the mortgage & rent & bills have just cleared him out and he is going through the process of credit card consolidation.
Therein lies a deeply unhappy chappie!

[GlenW]

I would be reluctant to get married for this reason. A friend of mine was left a broken man by his divorce, losing his wife, home, possessions and access to his child. He moved into a grotty place, from where he must now support his wife for the next X years, without having any of the benefits of having a family. When divorce happens, the wife loses a husband, but the husband loses his entire life - wife, family, house and future.

Unless the husband keeps the children and the house, as I did.

[original PM]

This is happening to the mid-life crisis that sits opposite me.

Just turned 50 he left wifey and 2 teenagers. A couple of long weekends in Spain with the boys and the veneer has just dropped off as the mortgage & rent & bills have just cleared him out and he is going through the process of credit card consolidation.
Therein lies a deeply unhappy chappie!

But you can do "A couple of long weekends in Spain with the boys" without doing "Just turned 50 he left wifey and 2 teenagers"

as far as I am aware

idiot!

[psychocandy]

Personally if it ever happened to me I'd be happy to pay whatever for the kids. Mrs not so.

Got a mate who pays bugger all for his daughter. Hes self-employed and manages to wriggle out of it. His ex is laid back and just doesnt force the issue - hes got access when he wants etc. Doesnt make any sense to me at all.

Then again got another mate whos getting screwed by his ex for a fortune. And it all ended because she was paying hide the sausage.

This seems wrong to me. As a woman, you can screw around and still get to keep the house/kids/income. If you ask me in this case you should get bugger all.

[psychocandy]

Unless the husband keeps the children and the house, as I did.

Rare though surely. Would be interested in how often this happens?

Was this something that was contested or did the ex just say stuff it?

[Gibbon]

I got burned the first time around, but luckily it happened when I was young enough not to cop for spousal maintenance. So just the CSA which when it sorted it self out was not a lot.

I did however learn and the trick is to only marry an equal, i.e. similar salary and importantly an independantly minded woman, not a baby doll type and defo not the kind of woman who needs looking after (they're just for fun). Then if the tulip hits the fan it's roughly a 50/50 split of what was a 50/50 input.

[unixman]

I got burned the first time around, but luckily it happened when I was young enough not to cop for spousal maintenance. So just the CSA which when it sorted it self out was not a lot.

I did however learn and the trick is to only marry an equal, i.e. similar salary and importantly an independantly minded woman, not a baby doll type and defo not the kind of woman who needs looking after (they're just for fun). Then if the tulip hits the fan it's roughly a 50/50 split of what was a 50/50 input.

I need to find a 26 year old baby doll who is earning more than me. Should be easy.

[TestMangler]

I had a contractor mate years ago (apologies if he turns out to be a poster on here and I didn't know), but he came home from work one night to find his house empty, and I mean EMPTY, down to the lightbulbs and bog paper being gone. She was also CoSec and had managed to hide an accumulation of debts to HMRC. She managed to screw him into the ground for almost everything he had and then some (they had a young teenage daughter at the time) and it turned out she was shacked up with another bloke and pregnant, and had managed to hide it from him until he was almost broke.

Poor bastard took years to rebuild his life. Eventually, the stupid cow realised that all the money she was taking off him for her legal fees etc was actually coming from the pot she was trying to get half of (after taking everything else he had). She ended up with a final settlement of a couple of grand at the end of it due to her stupidity.

[original PM]

the interesting thing is...

where are the girls parents when they do this sort of tulipty thing?

Maybe you just need to not pick up women in the cheap section of poundstretcher and if her mum has tattoos move swiftly on?

or do you think it is often more of the spoiled rich bitch who takes lawyer daddy's advice and screws you over?