10 things you didn't know about ecology and the like.
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1. The Green Party are called the 'Greens'. 'cos they know sod all
about politics.
2. Green activist Mike Keeny ensured that he was returned to nature
by having himself buried in his own compost heap. Interviewed
around the time his left arm fell off he said, 'I've never felt
so degraded in all my life'.
3. Eco washing up liquid leaves most of the food on your plate and
ensures the growth of rare and interesting bacteria, like botulism.
4. Acid rain is a let down once you've tried ecstasy.
5. The word 'Natural' on a food packet means that it is twice as
expensive as everything else on the same shelf.
6. Real ale is ecologically sound because it contains no chemicals
and therefore causes only natural damage to your brain, liver and
kidneys.
7. The lingering fallout from Chernobyl was responsible for the
slump in the form of the normally invincible Welsh rugby team.
8. The words 'Environmentally Friendly' on a product means that it
doesn't work anywhere near as good as the stuff you used to buy.
9. John Barnes was once voted the top 'Eco Player' in the England
team. It was revealed that his refusal to run around in an England
shirt saved the lives of thousands of blades of grass.
10. Recycled toilet paper is a sham. If it had been used before there
would be lots of smelly bits on it.
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1. The Green Party are called the 'Greens'. 'cos they know sod all
about politics.
2. Green activist Mike Keeny ensured that he was returned to nature
by having himself buried in his own compost heap. Interviewed
around the time his left arm fell off he said, 'I've never felt
so degraded in all my life'.
3. Eco washing up liquid leaves most of the food on your plate and
ensures the growth of rare and interesting bacteria, like botulism.
4. Acid rain is a let down once you've tried ecstasy.
5. The word 'Natural' on a food packet means that it is twice as
expensive as everything else on the same shelf.
6. Real ale is ecologically sound because it contains no chemicals
and therefore causes only natural damage to your brain, liver and
kidneys.
7. The lingering fallout from Chernobyl was responsible for the
slump in the form of the normally invincible Welsh rugby team.
8. The words 'Environmentally Friendly' on a product means that it
doesn't work anywhere near as good as the stuff you used to buy.
9. John Barnes was once voted the top 'Eco Player' in the England
team. It was revealed that his refusal to run around in an England
shirt saved the lives of thousands of blades of grass.
10. Recycled toilet paper is a sham. If it had been used before there
would be lots of smelly bits on it.
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