Best film monologue

[SpontaneousOrder]

"We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get ****ed by dicks. But dicks also **** assholes: assholes that just want to tulip on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can **** an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they **** too much or **** when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of tulip that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us **** this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in tulip!"

[Batcher]

"That's not a knife..."

[SpontaneousOrder]

"That's not a knife..."

"that's not a monologue..."

[Batcher]

"that's not a monologue..."

The Greek root word monologos translates to “speaking alone,” and that’s a monologue: one person doing all the talking.

Only Mick Dundee was talking. He continued "...this is a knife!!"

[xoggoth]

Blade Runner! Running Man. Silent Runner. Aaaagh. Now you've kicked off my confusion again about which film with runner/running in was which. The last time this happened they had to section me.

[SpontaneousOrder]

The Greek root word monologos translates to “speaking alone,” and that’s a monologue: one person doing all the talking.

Only Mick Dundee was talking. He continued "...this is a knife!!"

That's not the definition of a monologue, and in it's proper context -

Teenage Mugger: [flicks open switchblade] And your wallet!
Sue Charlton: [guardedly] Mick, give him your wallet.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [amused] What for?
Sue Charlton: [cautiously] He's got a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [chuckles] That's not a knife.
[he pulls out a large bowie knife]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: THAT's a knife.

That's a conversation.

[SpontaneousOrder]

"I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do NOT wanna **** with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Vwap! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase-plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks..."

[Pondlife]

Not a monologue but the whole "coffee's for closers" rant in Glengarry Glen Ross.

See how much of the ending makes it through the swear filter


"Blake: That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much'd you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a tulip. Good father? **** you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave. _I_ can go out there tonight with the materials you've got and make myself $15,000. Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can YOU? Go and do likewise. A-I-D-A. Get mad you son of a bitches. get mad. You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate. Go and do likewise gents. Money's out there. You pick it up, it's yours. You don't, I got no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close, CLOSE. It's yours. If not you're gonna be shining my shoes. And you know what you'll be saying - a bunch of losers sittin' around in a bar. 'Oh yeah. I used to be a salesman. It's a tough racket.' These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer you question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to. They asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your ******* ass because a loser is a loser."


Not too bad

[Batcher]

That's not the definition of a monologue, and in it's proper context -

Teenage Mugger: [flicks open switchblade] And your wallet!
Sue Charlton: [guardedly] Mick, give him your wallet.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [amused] What for?
Sue Charlton: [cautiously] He's got a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: [chuckles] That's not a knife.
[he pulls out a large bowie knife]
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: THAT's a knife.

That's a conversation.

In it's entirity it's a dialogue but taking the part I quoted it is a monologue.

Using your rules, all the other's quoted on here aren't monologues either as other people speak during the movies

[Paddy]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWS2NVX6VP0