If you were going on holiday....

[Churchill]

I'll just let my rottweiler look after the kids, what could possibly go wrong?

Can your Rottweiler put out fires?

[Doggy Styles]

I'd booby-trap all the doors and windows with high explosive so if any felon or self-styled mafioso boss tried to get in - BANG! He's history.

[original PM]

some kids I know - parents left them alone and they disapeared through the back of the freakin wardrobe.

nearly got eaten by a lion and all sorts.

[MyUserName]

Hang on ... didn't I have kids ... are they still in Prague or did we not take them?!?!?

[NotAllThere]

The longest we've left the kids without supervision is ten days. Mind you, at the time, the youngest was 17.

[MaryPoppins]

The longest we've left the kids without supervision is ten days. Mind you, at the time, the youngest was 17.

I'm reporting you to Mumsnet.

[MarillionFan]

Does someone know where Churchill is on holiday? It must be crap, I want to avoid it.

[Churchill]

Does someone know where Churchill is on holiday? It must be crap, I want to avoid it.

Ha ha aren't you a funny fat fuqqer?

Actually no, you're just a fat fuqqer.

[MarillionFan]

Ha ha aren't you a funny fat fuqqer?

Actually no, you're just a fat fuqqer.

Oh Ambassador, you are spoling us with your wit. Setting up nicely for the 8th.

[Churchill]

Oh Ambassador, you are spoling us with your wit. Setting up nicely for the 8th.

Frothing a bit are we?

You had your chance last time bitch and you were nice as pie.