But:
The Fiver knows a lost cause when it sees one. We’ve got mirrors in the house. And as the most self-aware teatime email around, we are struggling to comprehend why Louis van Gaal and/or Ed Woodward haven’t called off a relationship so barren and loveless that it makes Charles and Diana look like Heathcliff and Cathy by comparison.
Yes, it’s been another bad 24 hours for Van Gaal, whose team went from being in two cup competitions to being in two cup competitions with a 2-1 defeat to Midtjylland. Van Gaal was largely responsible after scoring two own-goals, missing eight penalties and ending David de Gea’s career, yet he still has the effrontery to imbibe oxygen without apology.
Woodward’s failure to address this increasingly horrific humanitarian emergency has received proportionate coverage in the media. “Louis van Gaal must be sacked by Manchester United NOW,” demanded one headline which, according to some sources, may even have been written by a grown human being.
As well as being portrayed as Ted Bundy’s less sympathetic sibling, Van Gaal has been openly ridiculed by thousands of people who are far better at their jobs than the former Big Cup, La Liga, Bundesliga and Eredivisie winner who jumpstarted the careers of Xavi, Andrés Iniesta, Patrick Kluivert and Thomas Müller has ever been at his.
This absurd Dutchman has the nerve to point out, with a straight face, that having an entire XI worth almost £200m out injured constitutes some kind of misfortune. Next he’ll be trying to tell us that even the greatest manager of all, Sir Alex Ferguson, struggled to such an extent during a similar injury crisis that his team blew a 12-point lead in 1997-98 and ended up winning bugger all that season! He’s even got the nerve to hang about until he gets sacked, thereby getting a multi-million pay-off that secures his family’s future!
Money is the most logical reason for an impasse that even Uncle Fiver reckons is bloody weird, what with money being the motivation for approximately 100.00% of things that happen in modern football. The situation is doing nobody any favours, however – least of all a 64-year-old man who has taken an extraordinary amount of heat, on behalf of far bigger villains, from people who are allergic to dignity.
Yes, it’s been another bad 24 hours for Van Gaal, whose team went from being in two cup competitions to being in two cup competitions with a 2-1 defeat to Midtjylland. Van Gaal was largely responsible after scoring two own-goals, missing eight penalties and ending David de Gea’s career, yet he still has the effrontery to imbibe oxygen without apology.
Woodward’s failure to address this increasingly horrific humanitarian emergency has received proportionate coverage in the media. “Louis van Gaal must be sacked by Manchester United NOW,” demanded one headline which, according to some sources, may even have been written by a grown human being.
As well as being portrayed as Ted Bundy’s less sympathetic sibling, Van Gaal has been openly ridiculed by thousands of people who are far better at their jobs than the former Big Cup, La Liga, Bundesliga and Eredivisie winner who jumpstarted the careers of Xavi, Andrés Iniesta, Patrick Kluivert and Thomas Müller has ever been at his.
This absurd Dutchman has the nerve to point out, with a straight face, that having an entire XI worth almost £200m out injured constitutes some kind of misfortune. Next he’ll be trying to tell us that even the greatest manager of all, Sir Alex Ferguson, struggled to such an extent during a similar injury crisis that his team blew a 12-point lead in 1997-98 and ended up winning bugger all that season! He’s even got the nerve to hang about until he gets sacked, thereby getting a multi-million pay-off that secures his family’s future!
Money is the most logical reason for an impasse that even Uncle Fiver reckons is bloody weird, what with money being the motivation for approximately 100.00% of things that happen in modern football. The situation is doing nobody any favours, however – least of all a 64-year-old man who has taken an extraordinary amount of heat, on behalf of far bigger villains, from people who are allergic to dignity.
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