Anyone been out for an extended perioddue to family illness - how did you explain it?

**pmeswani** · 10 April 2012, 13:31

Originally posted by Scoobos View Post

Long story short, I had to take a break from contracting in July last year as my wife had fallen critically ill.

You can skip the detail, but I've written it here for clarity

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Diagnosed with tumors in her womb , the operation to remove them went as badly as it could and resulted in an emergency hysterectomy and a spell in Intensive care on artificial respiration. Mistakes were apparently made, so it hit us both very hard mentally.

We had just got married, after 11 years, for the sole reason of being "official" before we had kids (my wife is a teacher / psychologist and swears that its better for the kids) - I guess you can imagine it was devastating for her, and for both of us.
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I left the best job I'll ever have and helped her through a very lengthy recovery until January this year, as I hope any decent hubby would do. It's been a nightmare....

That said, I'm wondering if honesty is the best policy and I just tell agents that I've been out due to a serious illness in the family - or whether I stick to my "training and book writing" story (i have tried to write a tecchy book on a MSFT product, but I doubt it'll get published).

Anyone else been in a similar situation? Is it game over to have my last contract from April to June ? (previously all my clients have renewed many times for several years).

You could tell them the truth to test the waters, and if you get knock backs, you can then tell them what you want them to hear.

**tractor** · 10 April 2012, 13:34

....

Originally posted by Scoobos View Post

Long story short, I had to take a break from contracting in July last year as my wife had fallen critically ill.

You can skip the detail, but I've written it here for clarity

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Diagnosed with tumors in her womb , the operation to remove them went as badly as it could and resulted in an emergency hysterectomy and a spell in Intensive care on artificial respiration. Mistakes were apparently made, so it hit us both very hard mentally.

We had just got married, after 11 years, for the sole reason of being "official" before we had kids (my wife is a teacher / psychologist and swears that its better for the kids) - I guess you can imagine it was devastating for her, and for both of us.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>

I left the best job I'll ever have and helped her through a very lengthy recovery until January this year, as I hope any decent hubby would do. It's been a nightmare....

That said, I'm wondering if honesty is the best policy and I just tell agents that I've been out due to a serious illness in the family - or whether I stick to my "training and book writing" story (i have tried to write a tecchy book on a MSFT product, but I doubt it'll get published).

Anyone else been in a similar situation? Is it game over to have my last contract from April to June ? (previously all my clients have renewed many times for several years).

Yep, similar situation with Mum. Ready to go back a year ago, plenty of interviews but it seems that unless you are coming out of one contract into another, the platitudes are all there, good cv, matching experience etc, but no deal. Always goes to someone with more recent experience. Driving me nuts tbh.

**Scoobos** · 10 April 2012, 13:35

Thanks, its hard to tell whats a knockback though as agents usually tell me they'll put me forward anyway - but who knows if they do.

I was cocky in January/Feb and thought I could choose who my clients were and turned down a few roles - since then its been dead for me

Thanks for sharing tractor, it helps to know that it happens to others too, we live near each other so if you're ever going round the bend and want to share a beer, just let me know.

Are you being honest with them then? Or using a cover story?

**northernladuk** · 10 April 2012, 14:09

Do the agents really care why you were off? I would have thought you had best keep your business to yourself unless specifically asked. The whole idea of being a contractor is this level of flexibility and it really shouldn't matter but the damn agents don't understand that.

I would probably make the dates as generic as possible on your CV without lying about end dates etc and let them pick up on the fact you haven't been active for a period. Hopefully they will just look at your experience and put your forward based on that. If you give them the info you have been out that will be their focus rather than you being skilled and capable of the role they are looking to fill? If they ask then be generic with your answer, I don't think they will appreciate your situation fully so no need to lay it on thick IMO.

**Scoobos** · 10 April 2012, 14:10

cheers northern - thats what I've been thinking and doing and I'll stick to it.

Seems every agent i've spoken to in the last week or so thinks that I'm going for a perm job the way they are talking.

**tractor** · 10 April 2012, 14:11

...

Originally posted by Scoobos View Post

Thanks, its hard to tell whats a knockback though as agents usually tell me they'll put me forward anyway - but who knows if they do.

I was cocky in January/Feb and thought I could choose who my clients were and turned down a few roles - since then its been dead for me

Thanks for sharing tractor, it helps to know that it happens to others too, we live near each other so if you're ever going round the bend and want to share a beer, just let me know.

Are you being honest with them then? Or using a cover story?

Yeah I'm being honest with em but no one likes the gory details so I keep it brief and try to concentrate on the positives eg skills match, exp match etc but it seems like it's not quite enough. I even went back to a previous client for a role similar to one that I had succcessfully completed over a 3 yr period but it was the same result came away positive but no go. Being over 50 doesn't seem to help either.

Lost count of how many times I have revamped my cv etc but hey-ho, onwards and.....

**tractor** · 10 April 2012, 14:23

Originally posted by northernladuk View Post

Do the agents really care why you were off? I would have thought you had best keep your business to yourself unless specifically asked. The whole idea of being a contractor is this level of flexibility and it really shouldn't matter but the damn agents don't understand that.

I would probably make the dates as generic as possible on your CV without lying about end dates etc and let them pick up on the fact you haven't been active for a period. Hopefully they will just look at your experience and put your forward based on that. If you give them the info you have been out that will be their focus rather than you being skilled and capable of the role they are looking to fill? If they ask then be generic with your answer, I don't think they will appreciate your situation fully so no need to lay it on thick IMO.

Exactly NL. Often I get past the agents though but it's difficult to get around the questions like 'when did you last use X or Y' It seems to go downhill from there. Still.....gotta keep goin...

**pmeswani** · 10 April 2012, 14:34

Originally posted by tractor View Post

Yep, similar situation with Mum. Ready to go back a year ago, plenty of interviews but it seems that unless you are coming out of one contract into another, the platitudes are all there, good cv, matching experience etc, but no deal. Always goes to someone with more recent experience. Driving me nuts tbh.

Knock backs would be in the form of not getting interviews or getting interviews but not getting the roles. I don't encourage lying / Bending the truth, but it is a last resort thing. I would use the opportunity to try and brush up your skills and possibly drop your rate just a tad to make it attractive for the clientco to take you on.

**tractor** · 10 April 2012, 15:00

Originally posted by pmeswani View Post

Knock backs would be in the form of not getting interviews or getting interviews but not getting the roles. I don't encourage lying / Bending the truth, but it is a last resort thing. I would use the opportunity to try and brush up your skills and possibly drop your rate just a tad to make it attractive for the clientco to take you on.

Perhaps that's mine or the OP's problem lol. It's a shame the consultancies and off-shorers get away with it. I have managed a number of COTS acquisitions in my time and some of the porkies consultancies and sw houses tell AND get away with are as amazing as they are shameful.

Anyone been out for an extended perioddue to family illness - how did you explain it?