How many days have you been on site with no access?

[hungry_hog]

On the flip side, has anyone EVER turned up on day 1 and had everything sorted for them?

Am in FS on the buy side. Day 1 everything was working. Login already set up. One hour to get a pass. All the access requests had already been raised, including most importantly the timesheet.
Before that a Swiss Bank which sounds like a courier company - they were similarly efficient.

I think the move to virtual machines has made it much easier, no more waiting for a brick laptop which weights more than a neutron star whilst having the power of a ZX81.

[darmstadt]

On the flip side, has anyone EVER turned up on day 1 and had everything sorted for them?

Yes, practically every contract in the last 25 years has been like that

[JamesCooperLiverpool]

3 weeks on this one. It's great when you'rr 100% WFH as atvleastbyou don't have to sit around twiddling your thumbs trying to look busy

[Paralytic]

3 weeks on this one. It's great when you'rr 100% WFH as atvleastbyou don't have to sit around twiddling your thumbs trying to look busy

It looks like you've spent 3 weeks drinking before typing that!

[psychocandy]

3 weeks on this one. It's great when you'rr 100% WFH as atvleastbyou don't have to sit around twiddling your thumbs trying to look busy

Exactly -result that is.... Does my chunk in just sitting there for weeks on end

[IVR247]

5 months - a pharma company in Dublin. The software I needed to write the code for the new system required a physical CDROM to be in the computer to prove you had a license. IT policy was no CD Drives in the desktops, so I twiddled my thumbs and chatted up the girls for months.

My favourite leaving memory was at a telco in Bracknell. Team leader, who I sat opposite told me I was to stay until 5pm, no way I was going to leave early on my last day. Turned out the IT guy that had the ticket to terminate my access was a friend of mine. He asked me when I wanted access revoked - so I said midday. I came back from lunch and - no access to the computer - Team Leader was SOOO pissed, but I left by 2pm.

[CodeCobbler]

Oof, anything SC related its usually weeks to months. Its actually not as fun as it sounds, just incredibly boring. Some places have no/limited internet access or phone allowed. So its extremely boring sitting around waiting for access or for software to get installed. The last one it was 7 months, and I never got my requisite software installed by IT so I canned it, and did not renew much to their disappointment. Only so many times you can do coffee chat, check corp email, long walks before it gets to you. I did learn via linked in from another contractor that the software did eventually get installed, some months later.

[hungry_hog]

thinking back in the mists of time as a consultant, my longest one was a telecoms company which sounds a bit like Mintish Belecom...was there 4 months and never got proper access. Had to meet my manager at the reception and get a paper pass each day. The projects were about as ordered as Brownian motion - lots of 1am finishes and slides being thrown in the bin. Place was full of MBA grads doing silly slides for management.