contract prolonging tacticts

[diseasex]

IR35 alert.

Screw IR35, I'm outside

[HugeWhale]

So I'm on this contract. Nothing to do, way ahead of everybody. Reading browsing.
The problem is the camera is behind my back facing monitors and they've proved they are looking at it. I'm out of ideas how to stall this contract further. Everyone seems to be working, can't be caught on anything but code, but they are sooooooo SLOW.
1. browse and risk getting caught and sacked
2. deliver 6 months in 2 months and lose billable days (which I don't want, it's close to my home and rate is good)?

Any ideas?

Buy one of those sliklips devices that will jerk you off under the desk.

[diseasex]

Buy one of those sliklips devices that will jerk you off under the desk.

And prolong 2 months gig to 6 months like that?

[MrMarkyMark]

And prolong 2 months gig to 6 months like that?

Think of the plus side, you'll lose a lot of weight

[LondonManc]

And prolong 2 months gig to 6 months like that?

Sit in a position where only half you screen is visible and leave the code up on that half, scrolling it occasionally.

[VillageContractor]

Sit in a position where only half you screen is visible and leave the code up on that half, scrolling it occasionally.

Record key strokes in your IDE and run that on an endless loop.

[PurpleGorilla]

Screw IR35, I'm outside

Not according to CCTV.

[diseasex]

Not according to CCTV.

I can see those IR35 detectives coming to an office and requesting all CCTV recordings for period of 6 months.

...
ARE YOU ON DRUGS?

[Big Blue Plymouth]

I am sure I read somewhere that someone had converted lord of the rings to XML or JSON

I bet he hasn't got a girlfriend. And, yes, it's a he for sure.

[greenlake]

Any ideas?

No one will know the difference....