Did I meet you yesterday.....?

[Whorty]

Was travelling from west country into London yesterday as had a freebie at Twickers for the varsity match. Agency I used to use wanted to schmooze me with free drink and food, and who was I to say no? Anyway, I digress....

At Salisbury I ended up sitting next to a chap who was probably late 50's, early 60's. Said he now lived near Sherbourne but used to live in West London. Got chatting and I said I was thinking of moving back to London after 3 years in the sticks.

Him: "You don't want to do that. It's changed so much you won't feel safe now"
Me: "I only moved out 3 years ago, and travel in quite a lot, I don't think it's changed that much in that time"
Him: "But it's full of people now who don't follow our culture. They bring their own in and just don't follow British way of living"
Me: "Who are 'they'?"
Him: "Well the foreigners. You know, the Russians, Arabs, Polish. They don't respect our culture. Peadophile rings in Rotherham and the like. Be better once we're out of Europe." (I jest not).
Me: "Well Russia and Arab countries aren't in Europe so Brexit won't make any difference there. And I don't think any Polish have been implicated in the Pedo rings. Aren't these pedos mostly british born anyway?" (tbh, I didn't know where the Rotherham blokes came from, but i figured he wouldn't either so I was safe).
Him: "BUt when I lived and worked in Dubai I had to follow their laws, we all did, but when they come over here no one follows the law"
Me: "Which laws exactly don't they follow?"
Him: "They're setting up Sharia Laws."

At that point I just changed the subject as he was clearly a fully paid up Daily Fail reader and knew his facts better than me

On the topic of the Varsity Match, he was proud to tell me his son is doing law at Oxford. He then said, Oxford Brookes. I nearly pee'd myself - it took all my control not to point out this was actually Oxford Poly

He also had a lot to say about how good our nurses are, and how little they get paid for the work they do (can't disagree with that). Then went on to say they then get poached to go work abroad, and we replace then with substandard (his words not mine) foreign nurses.

And we let these feckwits have a vote

Come on, fess up, which one of you was it?

[Old Greg]

Pretty standard gammon fare.

[Whorty]

Pretty standard gammon fare.

[Eirikur]

Did he mention he peels potatoes?

[Whorty]

Did he mention he peels potatoes?

No. He didn't say he'd held the Russians back during the cold war on his own either. I did ask him if his name was Shaun but he said no.

[shaunbhoy]

Was travelling from west country into London yesterday as had a freebie at Twickers for the varsity match. Agency I used to use wanted to schmooze me with free drink and food, and who was I to say no? Anyway, I digress....

At Salisbury I ended up sitting next to a chap who was probably late 50's, early 60's. Said he now lived near Sherbourne but used to live in West London. Got chatting and I said I was thinking of moving back to London after 3 years in the sticks.

Him: "You don't want to do that. It's changed so much you won't feel safe now"
Me: "I only moved out 3 years ago, and travel in quite a lot, I don't think it's changed that much in that time"
Him: "But it's full of people now who don't follow our culture. They bring their own in and just don't follow British way of living"
Me: "Who are 'they'?"
Him: "Well the foreigners. You know, the Russians, Arabs, Polish. They don't respect our culture. Peadophile rings in Rotherham and the like. Be better once we're out of Europe." (I jest not).
Me: "Well Russia and Arab countries aren't in Europe so Brexit won't make any difference there. And I don't think any Polish have been implicated in the Pedo rings. Aren't these pedos mostly british born anyway?" (tbh, I didn't know where the Rotherham blokes came from, but i figured he wouldn't either so I was safe).
Him: "BUt when I lived and worked in Dubai I had to follow their laws, we all did, but when they come over here no one follows the law"
Me: "Which laws exactly don't they follow?"
Him: "They're setting up Sharia Laws."

At that point I just changed the subject as he was clearly a fully paid up Daily Fail reader and knew his facts better than me

On the topic of the Varsity Match, he was proud to tell me his son is doing law at Oxford. He then said, Oxford Brookes. I nearly pee'd myself - it took all my control not to point out this was actually Oxford Poly

He also had a lot to say about how good our nurses are, and how little they get paid for the work they do (can't disagree with that). Then went on to say they then get poached to go work abroad, and we replace then with substandard (his words not mine) foreign nurses.

And we let these feckwits have a vote

Come on, fess up, which one of you was it?

So to recap, whilst on the train to London some mindless yokel boarded the train and made a beeline for you. Wonder what prompted that?

He clearly saw you as a kindred spirit. Possibly the all-pervading stench of damp cabbage drew him towards you like a particularly simple-minded moth to an extremely dim lightbulb?

Maybe it is time to lose the classic neo-bumpkin fashion styling, perhaps lose the smock?

And despite the glaringly apparent fact that his views would seem to be diametrically opposed to yours across a whole welter of areas, you were still weasel enough to happily engage him in conversation the entire trip.

More evidence that you are, as most of us have come to realise, the weediest type of keyboard warrior.

Do please keep these tales coming, they are just the thing for a rainy friday night.

[Whorty]

So to recap, whilst on the train to London some mindless yokel boarded the train and made a beeline for you. Wonder what prompted that?

He clearly saw you as a kindred spirit. Possibly the all-pervading stench of damp cabbage drew him towards you like a particularly simple-minded moth to an extremely dim lightbulb?

Maybe it is time to lose the classic neo-bumpkin fashion styling, perhaps lose the smock?

And despite the glaringly apparent fact that his views would seem to be diametrically opposed to yours across a whole welter of areas, you were still weasel enough to happily engage him in conversation the entire trip.

More evidence that you are, as most of us have come to realise, the weediest type of keyboard warrior.

Do please keep these tales coming, they are just the thing for a rainy friday night.

It was you then?

As for engaging with him; it was a packed train when I joined and the only free seat was the one next to him at the window. I was a captive audience for his xenophobia. My shaved head, goaty beard and tattoos probably made him think my views were like his. I may look like a Chelsea headhunter, but as you say, my views are not!

You'd have liked him; he was full of bulltulip stories too. Although he only claimed to have single handedly won hockey games, rather than save us all from those pesky Russians.

[Old Greg]

It was you then?

How many seats did he take up?

[Whorty]

How many seats did he take up?

One for him, one for his ego.

[Eirikur]

One for him, one for his ego.

And three for his potato sacks