LTD company and CSA

[beaujangles12]

What a refreshing answer - thankyou!

Does it really? I would have thought just leaving your wife didn't mean the kids only then had to have reasonable support, I would have thought it was best to still give them the support you always have, unless, well, unless you don't actually like them?

All I know, is that I am not separated, but if I were, I would let them have as much money as to keep them in the lifestyle they'd grown accustomed to, as I'd still love them, just not the wife. You may, of course, think that's odd.

Leaving your wife/partner doesn't absolve you of your obligations to your kids; they are your kids; they will always be your kids. Don't suddenly think you only want to give them reasonable support.

Jesus wept, some people really shouldn't be allowed kids.

I am sadly looking to divorce my husband this year ( a contractor for 12yrs) who I have been in a relationship with for 22yrs and have two children with, 19yr old with Severe Autism and a 14yrs old also. Am I going to be percieved as a money grabbing nasty vengeful person because I have sadly reached the conclusion that there is obviously no future in our relationship and unfortunately I will have to hope for a contribution from him to enable me to keep them? Bitterness can go both ways and I am sure that my husband is going to a degree be bitter as from his own perception, he hasn't done anything wrong. 'Perception' is subjective and there are always more than one side to a story. But I'd just like to say, thankyou for keeping it in perspective about being about the children, not the adults!

[cojak]

Hi BJ12,

I have allowed this post but I think that you need to ask your other question on Mumsnet or similar website.

[Support Monkey]

Does it really? I would have thought just leaving your wife didn't mean the kids only then had to have reasonable support, I would have thought it was best to still give them the support you always have, unless, well, unless you don't actually like them?

All I know, is that I am not separated, but if I were, I would let them have as much money as to keep them in the lifestyle they'd grown accustomed to, as I'd still love them, just not the wife. You may, of course, think that's odd.

Leaving your wife/partner doesn't absolve you of your obligations to your kids; they are your kids; they will always be your kids. Don't suddenly think you only want to give them reasonable support.

Jesus wept, some people really shouldn't be allowed kids.

Its one thing paying to keep the kids its another when your also covering the ex wifes shoe collection, if you can guarentee the money goes to them for only them then fine otherwise there needs to be a limit

[BrilloPad]

Any one know the best way when threatened with the above despite continually making regular and generous payments.

Point out to your ex that she will get less?

Personally I play hard ball - I stopped paying my ex and fought the CSA. Eventually she caved in as she knew the CSA would not get a penny out of me. I was happy to pay her - but not the CSA.

At that point I was not seeing the kids - I now have custody 4 days a week so there are no longer any payments.

[BrilloPad]

All I know, is that I am not separated, but if I were

Which renders the rest of your post null and void.

It is a sad fact that you don't really know anyone until you divorce them.

[BrilloPad]

Hi BJ12,

I have allowed this post but I think that you need to ask your other question on Mumsnet or similar website.

I have helped another woman via pm on cuk - I am happy to help BJ12 too. Maybe the post should be moved to a better forum though? Newcomers questions?

I am sadly looking to divorce my husband this year ( a contractor for 12yrs) who I have been in a relationship with for 22yrs and have two children with, 19yr old with Severe Autism and a 14yrs old also. Am I going to be percieved as a money grabbing nasty vengeful person because I have sadly reached the conclusion that there is obviously no future in our relationship and unfortunately I will have to hope for a contribution from him to enable me to keep them? Bitterness can go both ways and I am sure that my husband is going to a degree be bitter as from his own perception, he hasn't done anything wrong. 'Perception' is subjective and there are always more than one side to a story. But I'd just like to say, thankyou for keeping it in perspective about being about the children, not the adults!

Are you sure the relationship is at an end? Have you asked your husband about your relationship? Is going to relate a possibility? I have 2 kids with Autism. I don't think your husband can be forced to pay for the 19yo - but he will have to pay for the 14yo. As the kids are older is there any way you can work? Of course you should be getting DLA from the state too. Feel free to PM me if you want some offline advice.

Brillo

[kingcook]

I am sadly looking to divorce my husband this year ( a contractor for 12yrs) who I have been in a relationship with for 22yrs and have two children with, 19yr old with Severe Autism and a 14yrs old also. Am I going to be percieved as a money grabbing nasty vengeful person because I have sadly reached the conclusion that there is obviously no future in our relationship and unfortunately I will have to hope for a contribution from him to enable me to keep them? Bitterness can go both ways and I am sure that my husband is going to a degree be bitter as from his own perception, he hasn't done anything wrong. 'Perception' is subjective and there are always more than one side to a story. But I'd just like to say, thankyou for keeping it in perspective about being about the children, not the adults!

I've never been in the situation myself, but a bit of advice from the man's side....

I don't mind paying to provide for my children, as long as i'd get regular access to them. No access == no payment.

I'm guessing that (at least for now) you don't have a new fella in your life. So for now, i don't mind paying even more to assist you with childcare/etc during the week - you need to work after all.

If that day comes where you find a new fella, i don't want to be shelling out extra £££ to fund expensive trips to Disneyland, while the new fella gets to go away with my children and call him Dad.

Hope it all turns out ok for you

[psychocandy]

Am I only one who finds the phrase 'looking to divorce my husband' a bit weird?

Like a lifestyle choice or something? Dont know if its just me but dont people normally 'look to buy a new car/settee/house' rather than change a partner in this way?

[kingcook]

Am I only one who finds the phrase 'looking to divorce my husband' a bit weird?

Like a lifestyle choice or something? Dont know if its just me but dont people normally 'look to buy a new car/settee/house' rather than change a partner in this way?

Probably because you're Welsh

[psychocandy]

Of course, I'd be 'looking to swap my sheep'!