WORLD RECORDS IN DOPE SMUGGLING (G. Shelton)
 ------------------------------- 
 Largest amount smuggled in footwear - 35lbs of cocaine in pair of 
 platform shoes. Los Angeles Airport, 1975 
 
Largest payload in camper - 7,600lbs of marijuana in Datsun pickup. 
 Tijuana, 1976. 
 
Oldest smuggler - 108 year old woman caught swimming the Panama Canal 
 with 150lbs of Coca leaves. (she then overwhelmed 6 guards and escaped). 
 
Earliest air attempt - Niagara Falls by balloon, 1859. 6 cases of French 
 Absinthe dumped into Niagara River. 
 
Shortest multi-engined air attempt - 100yds by a DC-8 loaded with 36 tons 
 of Michoacan, Georgia 1975. 
 
Rocket smuggle (experimental) - 200lbs of alfalfa in Texas. 1962. 
 
Nautical Payload - 300,000lbs in San Fransisco Bay. 1969. 
 
Longest pipeline - The Jamaica - Miami Ganja Oil Pipeline, constructed 
 and maintained by the Rastafarians. 
 
Distance, Radio controlled - 2 kilos, 49 miles, San Diego. 1974. 
 
Official Goverment Record - 48 tons of hasish statues of "Ishtar the 
 Relaxed" from Afghanistan, traded for equal weight of concrete bird- 
 baths from USA (cultural exchange program). 
 
Distance - Giant Turtles tow waterproof containers 6,000 miles in an 
 instinctive return to their nesting beach. 
 
Speed (land) - California 1976. Wire shot across border under wire fence, 
 rabbits carrying 2 kilos of grass and wearing wire- following harnesses, 
 are injected with methedrine and released.
					
					
					
				
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Previously on "Knee jerk liberals always giving ya jipe."
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