Reply to: Best Chat up Line (Please note short & interesting thread title)

[voodooflux]

I'm a bird-watcher and I'm looking for a Big-Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?

Are you an undertaker? Because I have a stiff that needs dealing with urgently

[voodooflux]

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

[BA to the Stars]

Q Do you know the difference between a kn*b and a chicken leg?

If the answer is no, then ask "Do you want to come on a picnic"?

[original PM]

Do you like chicken?
suck my kn*b its foul (fowl geddit?)

Do you like fruit?
suck my kn*b its a peach

Lets talk about the weather
Whether (weather geddit?) or not you're going to give us a nosh tonight

[voodooflux]

I like the way you keep it short and sweet!
(I was talking about the chat-up line)

The other connotation is also correct

[BrilloPad]

"Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."

Sounds a good one - at the end of that she will be asleep and you can do what you want!

[KathyWoolfe]

"Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned.
..................
Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."

I like the way you keep it short and sweet!
(I was talking about the chat-up line)

[Churchill]

"Hi, do you have any Lancastrian in you?" "Do you want some?"

[wobbegong]

"Hi, d'ya fancy going halves on a bastard?"

[voodooflux]

"Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?"

[voodooflux]

"Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."

[Churchill]

"What say we meet up and shag this out of our system?"

[foritisme]

I may be no Fred Flintstone, but I can certainly make your bedrock.

[Swiss Tony]

I like every bone in your body … especially mine.

(I saw this being attempted by a very drunk student during my fresher’s week, I would swear the slap echoed across the room, shame really she was an absolute munter!)

[voodooflux]

my current glasses are quite adequate thank you!

beer goggles