Reply to: I'm the hardest in this forum

Re: Well it's not 100 lines but....

That's more like it!!!!. Darn. Another CUK person I can never be nasty too.

Whose would that be fiddle?

Re: Well it's not 100 lines but....

I have that problem sometimes but it's only because I wake up with a stiffy.

Re: Well it's not 100 lines but....

I'm so hard I have to bend over when I have a pee in the morning.

Well it's not 100 lines but....

If there is a more underrated writer alive in the country today than Xoggoth, then I don’t know who it is.
If you are ever offered the opportunity to read his work get yourself a large whisky, or whatever your tipple is, get the wife to take the kids out, switch off the tv and radio, settle down in a comfy chair and prepare to be astonished.
Shakespeare? A hack by comparison.
Greene? An unimaginative teller of tall tales.
Asimov? A paucity of vision.
King? Volume without depth.
Xoggoth? This my friends is the real McCoy. With a breadth of subjects ranging from the wistful to the savage, from the mundane to the extreme, these tales contain characters drawn with such integrity that you feel Xoggoth must surely have made a deal with Auld Nick to have such a gift.
Be prepared to be drawn into a world where things that initially seem bright and cheerful suddenly take on a deeper darker tone, where with one well-placed phrase the pleasant becomes heart-pounding terror, Eden becomes Armageddon and you’re left with a dry mouth and jangling nerves.
Not content with being possibly the most enriching writer currently active, Xoggoth is also a thoroughly nice man, with whom it has been my pleasure to exchange the occasional message on a well-known Bulletin board, his wit and wisdom always enlightening and his playful, joyful use of language has echoes of Anthony Burgess, without the latter’s morose almost belligerent sense of distaste.
Beg, steal or borrow this man’s work. It may just change your view of the world.

Re: Mr xog

But you did not fill 100 lines saying how marvellous they were, so much better than Shakepeare's and what a truly wonderful human being I must be. That counts as criticism in xoggoth land.

Mr xog

you continue to misread my judgements on your stories. I quite liked some of them. I asked before if you had been published anywhere or if you had a collection of them. It really was a serious question, but you seem to think that I was slagging them off. Not so.

Re: Hull, hull! You soft southern tulipe!

Dundee. Although your own judgement is clearly flawed, as your failure to appreciate my obviously brilliant stories shows, I thoroughly support your attempts to wind up any slighly PC tendencies on this board. That is clearly what nature evolved them for and all is for the best in this the best of all possible worlds.

On general subject of PC types it always seems odd to me that a Rodger Rabbit or Bernard Manning can say call an Arab a dirty camel-shagging towel head and get away with it while I get called a racist just for saying I don't think multi-cultural societies work terribly well. It must be the way I tell it.

Re: Hull, hull! You soft southern tulipe!

Intolerant? I assumed that since this was in light relief we were supposed to be playful, but obviously I was stung by the ferocity of your verbal savaging and lashed out. Or not.

Apologies to any other f*ckwitts out there. I was only trying to wind up AlfW.

You will see that I have added a post explaining why I deleted the previous postings on the 'thread that dare not speak it's name'. But please note AlfW, the apologies do not apply to you. It was always my intention to deliberately offend you. You are surely aware that this BB exists only for you to display your devastating wit and mastery of repartee and I'm afraid that being a mere mortal I became jealous of your god-like talents in this respect.
Or not.

(Oh please please let him take this seriously)

Re: Hull, hull! You soft southern tulipe!

With apologies to any other Scots out there. Just wanted to see how our Dundee friend liked it when the intolerance was incoming - obviously he didn't.

At that point I didn't know he was going to bottle it and delete all his posts.

Re: Hull, hull! You soft southern tulipe!

my m8 Northern bob used to go to Hull to play head-butt with his mates. This consisted of head butting "Rozzers, capture waginz" and counting the lumps on your head after the "rozzers" had finished "biffing" you with their truncheons. The winner obviously had the most lumps. The problem was thats bobs head was like granite and "lumping" it was very difficult so he couldnt win. we cheated it for him one time when he got me to "biff" him senseless with an iron bar before the game started and he won!, oh how we laughed.

The winner got a pint of Ale, which is something to win in Hull.

Re: Hull, hull! You soft southern tulipe!

You tell us then Alf. I think you will find that the facts are a sight less rosey than your rather fanciful imagination though.

I don't know, would you care to enlighten us?

And anyway I don't think you're allowed to be boastful or arrogant. everyone knows that the 'English' don't really exist and that their culture is based on the exploitation of the weak and is shameful and therefore must be denied.
Perhaps you could rephrase that to how many times have scotland had their arse kicked by an imperialist aggressor with warlike rapacious intentions.
But who's counting?

Re: Hull, hull! You soft southern tulipe!

Err how many times have the Scots had their @rses kicked by the English?

Hull, hull! You soft southern tulipe!

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May be true in certain circumstances or should I say cottages :lol