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Go as a premature ejaculation. Come in your underpants.
I have said this once before, it is a favourite of mine.
You need 1 pair (as close to) skin coloured long johns. 1 shirt (cut short at chest level). 1 Tie. 1 (flasher type) mac. 1 wallpaper pasting brush with red (or purple) tipped handle, light wood (depends on what colour you are). 1 pair old jeans. 1 pair socks and boots. String.
Wear long johns for modesty and warmth.
Wear shirt and tie as normal.
Cut legs off jeans just below knees. Put legs on and secure round knees with string (or sew to long johns).
Wear socks and boots.
Secure pasting brush around waist with string (attach at back for best effect), allow handle to hang downwards.
Wear Mac.
Occasionaly, but quickly "flash" the ladies.
Tube Stations theme - wear a wig and go as High Barnet, or:
Halo = Angel,
over-the-ear mic carrying a cup of coffee looking as frazzled as a mission controller = Euston,
camo gear + twigs = green park,
late 90's dance gear = old street,
monks outfit = blackfriars,
tennis gear = wimbledon,
school disco getup = Grange Hill
Use your imagination for Royal Albert, Mudchute, Shepherd's Bush, St John's Wood and Queensway.
Paint face red, fill your cheeks with custard, and when anyone asks what you're supposed to be, push your cheeks in sending a stream of custard all over them and say "a boil".
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