Friday Poetry Corner

[EternalOptimist]

A double dactyl

Spankety Wankety
SallyContractorGirl
Spent all her money ,on living so high
Now the bad taxman
revenue-extracterous
Has come for his money
And made Sally cry

[EternalOptimist]

There was a young lady from leeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds
in the space of an hour
her @rse was aflower
and her f@nny was covered in weeds

[EternalOptimist]

There was a young nun from Lod
who fancied a baby by God
but it wasn't the almighty
who climbed up her nighty
it was the vicar
the dirty old sod

[Old Greg]

There was an old Abbess of Bicester
Who strapped a courgette on a Sister,
Who buggered the Mother,
While felching a Brother,
And getting the Bishop to fist 'er.

[portseven]

Mary had a little lamb
she kept it in a bucket
every time the lamb got out
her dog would try to put it back

[Zorba]

Yeah, it's a hard life.

[Diestl]

Yes, i mean posting all day on this while getting paid is ridiculous, wouldn't catch me doing it.

[Zorba]

There was one a girl called Sally Anne,
Who posted on CUK all the time,
Her bosses found out,
And gave her a shout,
Then she got the can.

Ouch! Diestl is going for a PM role, I can tell...

[Diestl]

There was one a girl called Sally Anne,
Who posted on CUK all the time,
Her bosses found out,
And gave her a shout,
Then she got the can.

[Zorba]

There once was a young lad called Sid
Who ate twenty pies for a quid
When they asked 'are you faint?'
He replied 'No I ain't,
But I don't feel as well as I did!'

(Memorised that a squillion years ago and it just popped up. Therapy!)

[SallyAnne]

There was a young fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one bean
He’d fart “God Save the Queen,”
And Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

[Flubster]

SA, your husband-to-be is obviously a very lucky man. So many talents...

[SallyAnne]

There once was a girl named Hortence,
Whose breasts were very immense.
One day, while playing soccer,
Out popped her left knocker,
And she kicked it right over the fence.

[SallyAnne]

There once was an abbot of Brittany
Who chanted this desolate litany:
“If Christ is the Source
Of Divine Intercourse,
Then how come I don’t ever gitany?”

[SallyAnne]

Only to be read in a posh voice...

There once was a man from Iraq
Who had holes down the length of his cock
When he got an erection,
It played a selection
From Johann Sebastion Bach