Reply to: A silly thread

[Shaq235]

Why can't winter be in summer, so the ski day is longer? Also, if summer were in winter, the longer nights give more time for the air to cool down, saving on the need for fans or a/c units.

There are some places where it's daylight 24/7. Move there it you want)

[xoggoth]

Once is enough

Apart from adverts the things that annoys me most on TV are previews and reviews in the news.

I can understand that people without the sense to record a program and skip through it may want to see news headlines to decide if they want to watch the whole thing, but do we really need various breaks during the program to tell us, yet again, what's on a bit later? And, even worse, what has already been covered - "Our main news story this evening" Look 'ere! If anyone did not watch the program from the beginning that's their f* problem, don't bore the rest of us!

In real life we get bloody reviews as well. If somebody snuffs it we hear all the details of their life at the funeral, obituaries or in the news, depending on how famous they were. Ah well, at least we don't get previews of their life when they are born. - Yet!

[xoggoth]

Excel 2016 again

Idly twiddling with my recently acquired Excel 2016 and trying out the "Tell me what you want to do" search tool and it gave some odd suggestions:

shoot corbyn = Page setup
bonk a pig = Font
marry an earwig = Math & Trig
Get stoned = Recent Sources
blow up the queen = Visit the Excel blog
chop my leg off = Calculate Now
stop it you fool = Zoom

Apart from the earwig one, not sure I see any connection, but I give it credit for not just saying "Not found"

[BR14]

Was looking on Youtube for Eartha Kitt's song "I Wanna Be Evil" and found pages full of videos about demons etc. Had a quick look at this one,
"SIGNS A DEMON IS ATTACKING YOU":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3NOMlWX1Zc

I've always thought this stuff is absolute garbage but got to 10.28 min in and have totally changed my mind. One sign of being pursued by demons is having things go missing. What else could explain all those socks, tools, reading glasses etc that I lose every day?

Phew! I thought I was going senile! Big relief to know it's Just a demon!

my old mates can help

[xoggoth]

Demons are real

Was looking on Youtube for Eartha Kitt's song "I Wanna Be Evil" and found pages full of videos about demons etc. Had a quick look at this one,
"SIGNS A DEMON IS ATTACKING YOU":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3NOMlWX1Zc

I've always thought this stuff is absolute garbage but got to 10.28 min in and have totally changed my mind. One sign of being pursued by demons is having things go missing. What else could explain all those socks, tools, reading glasses etc that I lose every day?

Phew! I thought I was going senile! Big relief to know it's Just a demon!

[xoggoth]

AdBrain

A lot of people are fed up with online adverts as the CUK AdBlock thread indicates.

Things could get worse. One day the government may start micro-chipping us from birth so it can monitor our thoughts. I'm sure they won't be able to resist making some money by giving big companies access to our brains.

[xoggoth]

Tallking of boring

Why are amazing inventions in films always invented by a) Evil villains who use them to take over the world or b) Heroes who want to save the world?

I was watching the new series of Silent Witness tonight. Excellent but a bit confusing and I found myself pressing the back button on the remote of my Freesat box a few times so I could figure out what the character was talking about.

If I had a machine to control time, I'd be using the back button on it a lot and it wouldn't be to save JFK. The rest of you in the world would have to put up with living parts of your lives over and over again while I went back to find out where I'd put my reading glasses.

[xoggoth]

Most boring hallucination ever

Windows Live Mail stopped working last week and it's not available from MS anymore so I switched to EM Client which works very similarly. (But not free dammit!) However, I still wanted to be able to check all my old emails easily so wrote myself an .eml browser in Excel.

Got the flue a few days ago, didn't last long fortunately, only felt really crap for a day or so, but for 2 nights I could not sleep at all and experienced the most horribly dull hallucination the whole night through. I was lying in bed but it was encapsulated in a sort of transparent cell, of similar proportion to the default Excel cell, and it it just kept rolling up and down among countless similar cells.

Night 2 was similar but I managed to escape, presumably having grasped the basic concept that if a VBA script won't stop it's cos I ain't set the exit function condition right or have forgotten to update the loop count. Phew!

Horror stories! Zombies, aliens, stalked by demons, trapped in underground caves full of psychotic maniacs etc etc. At least those situations sound exciting! It would be worth living until you got killed. Real horror would be being stuck in a totally boring, mundane, tedious situation forever. Like an eternal xmas get together with relatives! Aaaagh!

PS I bet there's no fire in hell. You probably spend eternity doing corporation tax returns.

[xoggoth]

Alien invasion

Scientists may have awoken an alien intelligence inside asteroid Ouamuamua apparently.

Sounds like one of those daft ideas but you can't rule it out. If an alien invasion ever does happen, I tend to agree with Stephen Hawking (someone almost as intelligent as xoggoth) that it may not be good news. Acting in the interests of one's self and one's own species is how nature works. They may see us as we see rats and wipe us out.

But mankind also has a better side, many people love animals, they try to protect wildlife and pamper their pets like crazy. Who knows? An alien invasion could be great for some of us! We wouldn't have to go to work, we'd get free food and medical care, be given little treats, get taken for walkies twice a day and spend the rest of it curled up on the sofa or having our tummies tickled. Bring it on!

[xoggoth]

[xoggoth]

The autumn budget

[xoggoth]

Ah! That's what we need!

Apparently retro gaming and computing is becoming increasingly popular. The old stuff is so coool, but why limit it to computer gaming?

Glad to see that a new aircraft factory is opening at Brooklands museum. It would seem it is only intended to be part of the museum exhibits but they need to take it further!

Time for Britain to start making these old things again! Who wouldn't want to go on holiday travelling in a brand new Spitfire or Lancaster bomber?

[xoggoth]

Been meaning to research my family tree for years but never got round to it. Should be fairly easy these days with all the online records. It can be pretty simple to find out about some people in general, given all the stuff on websites and social media. It's a bit worrying, maybe somebody with a grudge could track you down.

Can we even be sure it's only living human beings who can use the internet to trace people? I was tidying my bedroom earlier and dusted off the old Samurai sword that my uncle took off a Japanese soldier in Burma. Who knows that his enraged spirit is not tracking me down, seeking revenge on the family of the man who killed him?

Is that the TV or did I hear somebody say Banzai?

[BrilloPad]

What's the right age for a woman?

Choose an age.

Whichever age you choose, it will be wrong.

[BrilloPad]

At one gig there was a secret santa. I got the only lady in the team to buy for. After several thoughts that would have appealed to the rest of the team, I consulted MrsBP. I think she liked the toiletries she got.

She certainly came to my stag do which was much appreciated.....