Has anyone ever been caught w**king at work? - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

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botnetter replied

10 October 2006, 17:32
When I was younger and delivered pizzas. There was this customer who never tipped and was always rude. Even told me to get my car off her driveway.

After that, when she next ordered, I had a wonk in a pizza hut toilet with her pizza. Need I say she got a free topping?
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hyperD replied

10 October 2006, 09:34
Originally posted by zeitghost

Have I mentioned that you've died Toad?

I found you dead on the patio, and dead once again whilst cutting the lawn on Saturday... pshaw, lawn I call it, there's more moss than grass.

Alas poor Toad, I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest....

I was reading the paper a few weekends ago and noticed a toad hiding in the corner of the lawn. Next minute a cat stealthily moved in and I heard the toad cry out as the cat pounced and ran off with the toad in his mouth.

Nature at work and all that...as I poured another cool glass of Sancerre.
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n5gooner replied

10 October 2006, 08:26
Originally posted by TheMonkey

Ironically I walked in on someone doing some speed once, but no wanking.

I was at JP Morgan a while back and walked into two traders doing some speed, but it was a few years ago now.
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TheMonkey replied

10 October 2006, 08:16
Originally posted by Toad

I'm surprised nobody's used the expression "Spanking the Monkey" yet.

I like a good spanking
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Toad replied

9 October 2006, 22:51
Aaaahh right !

I was wondering where these 72 virgins came from.
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Toad replied

9 October 2006, 21:27
I'm surprised nobody's used the expression "Spanking the Monkey" yet.
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TheMonkey replied

9 October 2006, 21:12
Originally posted by Dundeegeorge

Ironically? What do they teach you monkeys nowadays? That's not ironic.
Moronic possibly, the speedster that is, not you.
Oh, I don't know, if the cap fits

I should explain the ironically bit. I apologies for being moronic and idiotic. The guy in question worked on an anti-drugs campaign web site.
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hyperD replied

9 October 2006, 21:06
Originally posted by n5gooner

was that by chance an Oil company who have offices in Leatherhead???

Not Exxon Mobil, no.
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Dundeegeorge replied

9 October 2006, 20:33
Ironically?

Originally posted by TheMonkey

A ex-colleage of mine shagged the company secretary in the skip out the back.

Ironically I walked in on someone doing some speed once, but no wanking.

Ironically? What do they teach you monkeys nowadays? That's not ironic.
Moronic possibly, the speedster that is, not you.
Oh, I don't know, if the cap fits
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TheMonkey replied

9 October 2006, 14:06
A ex-colleage of mine shagged the company secretary in the skip out the back.

Ironically I walked in on someone doing some speed once, but no wanking.
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n5gooner replied

9 October 2006, 13:59
Originally posted by hyperD

Knew of a bloke that was caught wanking, naked, after hours on a secretary's seat by security guards for a well known oil company.

Straight out of the door, no questions asked (but we knew security so we got the full story).

Those were the days where you could fire someone on the spot without infringing his Human Wipes or something...

was that by chance an Oil company who have offices in Leatherhead???
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MarillionFan replied

9 October 2006, 13:52
We've all had a secret hand shandy at some point during the working day haven't we. Haven't we?
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sasguru replied

4 October 2006, 16:11
Originally posted by zeitghost

I remember a chap exposing himself to a lady & her daughter...

on a train...

Did you get arrested?
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hyperD replied

4 October 2006, 15:16
Knew of a bloke that was caught wanking, naked, after hours on a secretary's seat by security guards for a well known oil company.

Straight out of the door, no questions asked (but we knew security so we got the full story).

Those were the days where you could fire someone on the spot without infringing his Human Wipes or something...
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Pinto replied

4 October 2006, 14:38
No, But I've been caught working. Most disconcerting!
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