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Reply to: I Have Returned

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Previously on "I Have Returned"

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  • Jesus
    replied
    why does Chico not love his Enemy?

    Leave a comment:


  • Jabberwocky
    replied
    Originally posted by Jesus
    I do not do BOGOFs anymore, so Bog off!
    If you cannot do miracles, you are an imposter, a charlatan.

    BURN HIM, BURN HIM NOW.

    Chico, have you got the matches ? We need some Christian justice here.

    Leave a comment:


  • foritisme
    replied
    A question for Jesus

    Is the Da Vinci Code true ?

    Leave a comment:


  • Jesus
    replied
    I do not do BOGOFs anymore, so Bog off!

    Leave a comment:


  • Jabberwocky
    replied
    Originally posted by Jesus
    I am more concerned with the misinterpretation of the great book especially those tho believe the following is the word of God:

    “Kill them all and let God sort them out.”

    “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is my command.”

    “Vengeance is mine sayeth the family of the victim.”

    “Kill the infidels.”

    “Do unto others before they do unto you”.

    “Never forgive your enemy”.

    “Hate is great”.

    “Turn the other cheek and when they aren’t looking blow them away”.

    “Judge ye others and when you have condemned them in your mind, bomb their country and every human soul therein”.

    “Be sure to cast the first stone”.

    “Hang em high”

    “Nuke em”.
    Very worthy I am sure, but when do I get the wine ?

    Leave a comment:


  • DaveB
    replied
    Originally posted by Jesus
    I am more concerned with the misinterpretation of the great book especially those tho believe the following is the word of God:

    “Kill them all and let God sort them out.”

    “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is my command.”

    “Vengeance is mine sayeth the family of the victim.”

    “Kill the infidels.”

    “Do unto others before they do unto you”.

    “Never forgive your enemy”.

    “Hate is great”.

    “Turn the other cheek and when they aren’t looking blow them away”.

    “Judge ye others and when you have condemned them in your mind, bomb their country and every human soul therein”.

    “Be sure to cast the first stone”.

    “Hang em high”

    “Nuke em”.
    You forgot :

    "Nuke 'em till they glow then shoot them in the dark!"

    and

    "Round them all up, put them in a field and Bomb the Bastards!"

    Leave a comment:


  • Jesus
    replied
    I am more concerned with the misinterpretation of the great book especially those tho believe the following is the word of God:

    “Kill them all and let God sort them out.”

    “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is my command.”

    “Vengeance is mine sayeth the family of the victim.”

    “Kill the infidels.”

    “Do unto others before they do unto you”.

    “Never forgive your enemy”.

    “Hate is great”.

    “Turn the other cheek and when they aren’t looking blow them away”.

    “Judge ye others and when you have condemned them in your mind, bomb their country and every human soul therein”.

    “Be sure to cast the first stone”.

    “Hang em high”

    “Nuke em”.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jabberwocky
    replied
    Can you still do miracles ? A bit of fish and bread would be nice, oh and some wine to wash it down. A chilled white chardonnay is best, shall we say 5,000 bottles ?

    Leave a comment:


  • Jesus
    replied
    Originally posted by Jabberwocky
    Those nails must have stung a bit too.
    Are you talking Mary Magdalene? (I would rather we didn't)

    Leave a comment:


  • Jabberwocky
    replied
    Those nails must have stung a bit too.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jesus
    replied
    My powers have been weakened by false prophets pretending to speak for my Father (who art in Heaven)

    Leave a comment:


  • Jabberwocky
    replied
    You are not very omnipotent if you haven't heard of me are you ?

    Leave a comment:


  • Jesus
    replied
    Originally posted by Chico
    Jabberwocky using the same old formula eh?
    I know not of Jabberwocky, Chico my son, you have strayed from the path of rightiousness. God does not condone war.

    Remember:

    “You have heard it said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” MATTHEW 5:38-39

    “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the same measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” MATTHEW 7:1-2


    God will not condone murder, those who transgress will face judgement

    Leave a comment:


  • AtW
    replied
    Originally posted by CaribbeanPirate
    Walk on water – dead easy: freeze it first.
    I used levitation about 2006 years ago.

    threaded.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jabberwocky
    replied
    Absolutely not - anyway he has not claimed to be the Son of God.

    Leave a comment:

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