Reply to: Rise of the extreme commuter

[MaryPoppins]

It all changes, believe me, when you know you pretty much have to get home at night at a reasonable time.... Client pulling one direction, family pulling the other = lots of stress.[/QUOTE]

In which case staying in the role that pays less might have been a wiser choice. Very difficult having to make these decisions though, I appreciate.

[psychocandy]

What is your local area like for your type of work? Even permie (spit)?

Would you and your family benefit more from a lower income, but you around a lot more doing 9-5?

If not, can you consider moving somewhere more convenient for contract opportunities?

Crapish for all sorts of work where I live (Wales). Not too far for some stuff though (Bristol/South West).

Move? You mean out of Wales to England? {{shudders}}

[jmo21]

What is your local area like for your type of work? Even permie (spit)?

Would you and your family benefit more from a lower income, but you around a lot more doing 9-5?

If not, can you consider moving somewhere more convenient for contract opportunities?

[psychocandy]

I understand that about seeing the kids; I don't have kids but I have plenty of experience from the other side of the equation; my father was away from home a lot due to aid work, then army work and then business when I was a little kid but that was for weeks or months at a time, and then added to that I went off to boarding school at 9; my father and I still don't really know each other very well and sometimes we get on, sometimes it's a rather difficult relationship with both of us keeping some, erm, 'distance'; I can imagine you don't want things to get like that. But two nights a week is not going to do the damage, in fact if it means you're feeling a bit more fresh and cheerful instead of tired and grouchy then the time you spend with your kids will probably be much better, and they'll look forward to seeing you when you get home. Perhaps worth a try for a little while. Maybe your wife has friends who can join her for an evening when she's alone.

1/2 night a week I normally wouldnt have problem with. At the end of the day, these things have to be done for the money. More money equals more nice things and holidays for the family.

BUT, its amazing how illness can make things awkward getting on with everyday life. Normally (and trying not to be sexist here because its the same with the roles reversed) the husb contractor goes off to client, works the hours necessary, wife stays home keeps the home/kids in one piece. Husb home a bit late no problems. It all changes, believe me, when you know you pretty much have to get home at night at a reasonable time.... Client pulling one direction, family pulling the other = lots of stress.

[psychocandy]

Would you be home in time to get the children into bed? Serious question as dashing off at 5 on the dot everyday probably isn't going to do you many favours...

Also why don't you see if a relative will do it for a few quid cash in hand. You would pay people to babysit....

Current gig I'm up at 6 on train by 7 on site by 8. See my daughter at 6am because she wants a bottle at that time! (althiough not sure if she opens her eyes much!). Its local government so 7.5 hours so I'm back on train by 4ish and walking in the door by 530. Works well because Im home then to help out. Problem is rate is just awful. :-(

New gig is pretty similar location (actually next stop on train so 10 mins albeit too far to walk to site at other end). Probably driving easier most days. I'd have no problem leaving house at 6ish, to be there at client before 8. Hopefully get away then to be home by same time. But as I've always said everyone notices the person who leaves early lol.

No problem getting relative over for one night (her mum). Trouble is she lives 20 miles away and doesnt drive so someone has to pick her up generally. The planned stuff is not such a problem but its when I dont get home till 10pm because of some issue thats going to be a problem if it happens too often.

[Mich the Tester]

Thanks for sensible feedback. Yes, two nights may be better but, of course, thats one extra night when I don't see my kids at all.

Other problem I have is that, any nights away mean I have to get family over to help the dear wife with the kids (shes not lazy btw but ill). One night probably no problem - two separate night is probably putting others out too much.

I understand that about seeing the kids; I don't have kids but I have plenty of experience from the other side of the equation; my father was away from home a lot due to aid work, then army work and then business when I was a little kid but that was for weeks or months at a time, and then added to that I went off to boarding school at 9; my father and I still don't really know each other very well and sometimes we get on, sometimes it's a rather difficult relationship with both of us keeping some, erm, 'distance'; I can imagine you don't want things to get like that. But two nights a week is not going to do the damage, in fact if it means you're feeling a bit more fresh and cheerful instead of tired and grouchy then the time you spend with your kids will probably be much better, and they'll look forward to seeing you when you get home. Perhaps worth a try for a little while. Maybe your wife has friends who can join her for an evening when she's alone.

[eek]

Thanks for sensible feedback. Yes, two nights may be better but, of course, thats one extra night when I don't see my kids at all.

Other problem I have is that, any nights away mean I have to get family over to help the dear wife with the kids (shes not lazy btw but ill). One night probably no problem - two separate night is probably putting others out too much.

Would you be home in time to get the children into bed? Serious question as dashing off at 5 on the dot everyday probably isn't going to do you many favours...

Also why don't you see if a relative will do it for a few quid cash in hand. You would pay people to babysit....

[psychocandy]

Thanks for sensible feedback. Yes, two nights may be better but, of course, thats one extra night when I don't see my kids at all.

Other problem I have is that, any nights away mean I have to get family over to help the dear wife with the kids (shes not lazy btw but ill). One night probably no problem - two separate night is probably putting others out too much.

[MyUserName]

I worked in Carmarthen, it was like going back to the 30's. Kept excepting a Scottish Doctor to blow up the main sewer....

My mother was taken to Carmarthen hospital when she broke her hip. I went to visit a few times, not a bad place. I think it is the one with the nice castle?

It was also the code we used in Cardiff when being introduced to someone from Swansea (you know, they are from 'outer Carmarthen').

Of course, there was one dumbass who, in a curry house, saw a Cardiff supporter come in and loudly said "Hey lads, the swimmers are in" the guy looked over and said "I'll see you later, boys" and then left. That was a bloody tense, frantic end to the evening.

[eek]

Yes, and/or stay near cliento for two nights; Tuesday and Thursday works well for me when it's a 90 minute one way commute. More than that and I make it 3 or 4 nights so I have time to go to the gym and Lady Tester doesn't have to tolerate my innate gift for making a mess of the house by the simple act of being a man.

I would stay Monday and Thursday (I do Monday + Wednesday but that is because I'm need as a Taxi Thursday night).

Firstly the Monday night stay gives you all weekend to get everything organised and Monday morning commutes are always busier.
The Thursday gives you 2 nights at home before another night away..

[Mich the Tester]

MTFU?

Yes, and/or stay near cliento for two nights; Tuesday and Thursday works well for me when it's a 90 minute one way commute. More than that and I make it 3 or 4 nights so I have time to go to the gym and Lady Tester doesn't have to tolerate my innate gift for making a mess of the house by the simple act of being a man.

[mudskipper]

But any other novel and creative suggestions for dealing with long commute like this?

MTFU?

[psychocandy]

Gig on the cards now. 75 mins or so drive.

To be honest, that would knacker me out these days. I seem to be getting to the age where I'm always worn out (although having a 7 month old daughter doesn't help!).

Not sure if its going to be a goer doing this every day. For reasons discussed before, I'm not in position to stay over all week (wifes health etc). There is train but its a bit awkward (1 hour, but 15 min taxi client end, so door to door inc driving at home end its 1-40 or so).

But of course, one night stay a week might make a big difference. Eg.

mon - do the drive there and back.
tues - drive am, stay over so no drive home.
wed - local so no am drive, pm home.
thurs - there and back drive.
fri - knackered by now so train (and avoiding friday evening driving home traffic).

Of course, all depends to a certain extent on client flexibility for working. Arrive early, leave early is ideal but I've met some who push the PWD thing to its limit. I dont think it work for a long commute for me.

But any other novel and creative suggestions for dealing with long commute like this?

[stek]

Oh yes.

It gets much wester the further west you go & they start talking in tongues after a while.

I worked in Carmarthen, it was like going back to the 30's. Kept excepting a Scottish Doctor to blow up the main sewer....

[psychocandy]

To be clear I've emphasised the bits in bold..





So why did you spend all the blooming contract complaining about it and still bring it up in a look at me wasn't life hard stylie.

Either get used to life as a contractor while trying to live in wales or just shut up and stop complaining because I can't imagine anyone on this forum would ever recruit you if they were looking for a contractor even if you were the only one person available with complete skillset..

Happy today eek.....