The Honest Job Description

[petergriffin]

They forgot to mention "£15,000 a year"

Too much. Unpaid work experience is more suitable.

[cojak]

They forgot to mention "£15,000 a year"

WDAS.

I have a mate who is a talented and experienced graphic designer/artist, doing ALL of the above and she was dancing for joy earlier in the year because she had just signed for her best paying (2 month) contract to date.

For £180pd.

[DodgyAgent]

They forgot to mention "£15,000 a year"

[alreadypacked]

Would you really want an honest job description?

What would be the honest description of your role?

I really like
– retouching amateur photographs and making them look highly professional
– dealing with complaints it they don’t

The pay sounds good too
Salary: not enough to get a mortgage but sufficient to survive

Experienced Artworker at Mind Design

We are looking for a hardened and experienced artworker/graphic designer who can handle the demands of our regular clients on a day to day basis and keeps them happy at all times.

Please note: This is not a primarily a creative job. Once we are are done with the initial creative part of a project we would hand it over to you for regular maintenance. Usually the client does the same by putting marketing or middle-management people in charge.

Your job would include:
– following (and ignoring) guidelines
– adjusting and updating existing files
– finding files on our server that are up to 10 years old
– text corrections (…many, many text corrections)
– writing pdf’s after doing those text corrections (…many, many pdf’s)
– designing all those little flyers, e-vites, invites, vouchers, menus, postcards, business cards, etc
– designing letterhead and presentation templates in programs you might not understand
– putting Twitter and Facebook buttons on absolutely everything
– going to meetings to discuss the correct size of Twitter and Facebook buttons
– explaining the client the difference between digital and offset printing
– explaining the client the difference between coated and uncoated paper stock
– chasing printers and manufacturers for near impossible deadlines
– putting the word ‘organic’ onto restaurant menus and then taking it out again
– formatting logos for Twitter, Facebook, Vimeo, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc
– promising miracles from Search Engine Optimization
– doing colour variations based of everyones preferences
– making tiny low resolution pictures from the internet work in poster size
– retouching amateur photographs and making them look highly professional
– dealing with complaints it they don’t
– miraculously turning sponsor logos from low res jpg’s into functional vector graphics
– fitting large amounts of text into tiny formats or limited number of pages
– designing cool things without any text or images at all
– writing friendly e-mails at all times
– always keeping a smile on your face

We provide daylight, coffee and a fast computer

Skills required:
– survival instinct
– strong typographic skills
– at least 2 years experience
– experience in dealing with clients (essential)
– experience in dealing with printers, manufacturers and other people who might get things wrong
– able to work independently, fast and under pressure

– be very organized and responsible
– Languages: Fluent in spoken and written English (required)
– Software: Adobe Creative Suite 4 (required), basic HTML (required)

Contract: Permanent, full-time.
Salary: not enough to get a mortgage but sufficient to survive
Closing date for applications: 30 October 2013.
How to Apply
Application: Please send your cv and samples of work (no more than 5mb) to: info(at)minddesign.co.uk

Please note: We will only contact applicants who we want to invite for an interview.
If you don’t hear back from us within two weeks there is no need to check again.

So there.

Experienced Artworker at Minddesign (ItsNiceThat)