Reply to: Project Gangnam Style

[aussielong]

The thing about awesomeness is it's often misunderstood. My genius will probably go undetected for centuries, then one day, when modern thinking has progressed far enough, bingo!

These posts could be worth a fortune in years to come. Clever, clever admin, building his nest egg in this way. I bet every time I post he's sat there rubbing his hands with glee.

I would of thought its more likely that you will eventually get a rep for being a 6m contractor and the work will dry up. Youll have to take bar and cleaning work to pay the mortgage. Your self esteem will go even lower and you'll be unable to keep the wife in biscuits. Soon enough you'll be turning to the loan sharks to keep face. Moving in murky circles you get into the crackerjack. Next thing you know you're pawning your dads ZX81 to get a tenner bag and telling passers by in the street how you used to be Luton royalty.

Nice weather were having.

[MarillionFan]

Which year?

Every year.

[suityou01]

Jealous ramblings of a mad Aussie twat

The thing about awesomeness is it's often misunderstood. My genius will probably go undetected for centuries, then one day, when modern thinking has progressed far enough, bingo!

These posts could be worth a fortune in years to come. Clever, clever admin, building his nest egg in this way. I bet every time I post he's sat there rubbing his hands with glee.

[aussielong]

So it all comes out in the wash. My predecessor was a chump. PM got her arse kicked when he delivered frak all.

So I'm in the spotlight a bit. I found out that this week she rang up the sister company I worked for last year as tech lead. Of course the references were top notch as I was a total legend.

So this week she's settled down a bit, I'm getting on with my workshops, and have advised her that perhaps the project should have a phase where we deliver the business case as one of the products. Went down a storm.

So step one deliver business case. Step 2 deliver f-spec. Step 3 adjust superman pants and give a cheeky wink to the camera with added teeth gleam.

One of the things I try and do when i run into people like you, is quietly get you out of the picture, so that i can get closer to the requirements in order to increase my chance of delivering something useful. You will think you are important but you are in reality part of the shadow team. The real team (usually a small subset of the bigger team) will deliver despite you.

In essence, you are a parasitic hanger-on (feeding off those that can deliver), and not a real player. If you were a real player you would not keep moving every 6 months.

Team members like you are a real danger. You add needless complexity, create confusion and slow things down to the point where the boat has been missed. You are spoiling things for those that could deliver and progress. You are an indigenous Bob.

Nothing personal - this is an anonymous forum after all. I'm commenting on the profile you portray.

[AtW]

Go Suity!

Look forward to hearing about your next new contract in October.

Which year?

[MarillionFan]

So it all comes out in the wash. My predecessor was a chump. PM got her arse kicked when he delivered frak all.

So I'm in the spotlight a bit. I found out that this week she rang up the sister company I worked for last year as tech lead. Of course the references were top notch as I was a total legend.

So this week she's settled down a bit, I'm getting on with my workshops, and have advised her that perhaps the project should have a phase where we deliver the business case as one of the products. Went down a storm.

So step one deliver business case. Step 2 deliver f-spec. Step 3 adjust superman pants and give a cheeky wink to the camera with added teeth gleam.

Go Suity!

Look forward to hearing about your next new contract in October.

[suityou01]

So it all comes out in the wash. My predecessor was a chump. PM got her arse kicked when he delivered frak all.

So I'm in the spotlight a bit. I found out that this week she rang up the sister company I worked for last year as tech lead. Of course the references were top notch as I was a total legend.

So this week she's settled down a bit, I'm getting on with my workshops, and have advised her that perhaps the project should have a phase where we deliver the business case as one of the products. Went down a storm.

So step one deliver business case. Step 2 deliver f-spec. Step 3 adjust superman pants and give a cheeky wink to the camera with added teeth gleam.

[Epiphone]

Well done. You've read Projects For Dummies and used all the buzzwords on the cheat sheet.

[Mich the Tester]

Anyway, iirc I was wearing my aquamarine shoes.

[TheFaQQer]

That's what happens when you where blue and green together

wear

FFS

[Mich the Tester]

Back to the future, actually

Did you get accolades for being observant in your time as a manager

Look, it was a sci-fi related theme alright, I'm supposed to look at 'the bigger picture', take a helicopter view and so on; how am I supposed to read the bloody t-shirt from a helicopter?

[suityou01]

Says the man with the star trek t-shirt.

Back to the future, actually

Did you get accolades for being observant in your time as a manager

[Mich the Tester]

That's what happens when you where blue and green together

Says the man with the star trek t-shirt.

[suityou01]

Take your baseline, put in in a requirements freeze, call thrice daily scrums in the war room, starting with a kick-off meeting and check all deliverables against the product risk matrix, then synergize your resources into a crack commando that delivers a top class HR solution to your stakeholders.

I'm feeling slightly sick now.

That's what happens when you where blue and green together

[suityou01]

Hey Suity, dont get me wrong, you sound like a US Navy Seal at times, the man to get things done, but every time you post about your new gig I get the feeling of Deja Vu.

Its the same thing again and again, 10 interviews before you get the gig, you go in and find that the project is in a tulip state, you then admirably turn it around and show the PM how things are done, project is back on track and going great and you get sacked. Rinse repeat in various parts of UK, Germany and some other countries you managed to get in.

But you are wrong. This was one telephone interview, not 10.

Never been sacked.

Oh wait, I know, you're a fool.