Reply to: Lock up your ?

[TheFaQQer]

I was seeing this really fat bloke and my mates caught me, talk about embarrassing.

MrsMF

FTFY

[vetran]

years ago was in Asda buying condoms + chocolate and the GF's very religious Uncle & aunt queued up behind us, Uncle looked me right in the eye and winked.

another time

Had just finished a bit of alfresco nookie when up pulled a police car, we spent 10 minutes chatting away to the copper with her knickers bunched up in my left hand. Had to go back & sort her out again as soon as they left. we did pick a quieter spot.

[MaryPoppins]

I can tell that by the names of the characters, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steel. They just sound so horribly cheesy

Damn you for furnishing me with that information!

[Bunk]

All this 50 shades of crap is truly up there on my shovel list.

It makes me cringe - despite never having read it. As if! I can tell it's utter bilge from the type of women that prattle on about it.

I can tell that by the names of the characters, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steel. They just sound so horribly cheesy

[original PM]

back in the day my birds mum came in and caught me dining out at the y

things were a bit frosty for a few days and she certainly made a show of cutting up her meatballs when we had meatballs and spaghetti for tea.

[MyUserName]

I was seeing this really fat bird and my mates caught me, talk about embarrassing.

MF

Never mind your cooking Sunday lunch stories

[MyUserName]

In my [much] younger days I was being um, seen to, from behind by an ex boyfriend. His mother walked in on us and quickly back out again. I attempted to climb out of the window, while he lay in the foetal position on his bed wailing 'I looked her in the EYE'

Awesome! Although the critial thing is ... was he looking her in the eye at 'eruption'?

[SimonMac]

I was seeing this really fat bird and my mates caught me, talk about embarrassing.

MF

[MaryPoppins]

In my [much] younger days I was being um, seen to, from behind by an ex boyfriend. His mother walked in on us and quickly back out again. I attempted to climb out of the window, while he lay in the foetal position on his bed wailing 'I looked her in the EYE'

[Mich the Tester]

A few times a GF's mother walked in on us. At one point we were both naked from the waste down but covered by a sheet as we explained we were both exhausted and taking a nap.

We were there chatting for a fair few minutes without her seeming to realise what was happening as we adlibbed plausible reasons for why we could not get up at that point.


Another time on uni placement I had spent the night with a girl. There was a knock at the door at about 8 in the morning as I was opening the door she said "it might be my boyfriend!". As I thought "BOYFRIEND?!?!" I was face to face with a guy I sort of half knew. He seemed puzzled as to what I was doing in his girlfriend's room at 8 on a Sunday morning (luckily I was dressed) -

Me: "Hi, are you after Lindsey?" (Seriously, this was the best I thought of, it was a single room why the F**K else would he be there?)

Him: "Erm ... yes is she here?"

Me: "Yep, Linds, it's for you. Sorry, I can't find that spider. Perhaps he can, I'll leave you to it" (polite nod to him and quick march out!)

Lindsey: "Right, thanks"


He actually bought it but she had to feign arachnophobia for the rest of their relationship.

Once when I was a student I visited my GF's parents' house and her father walked in as I was, well, diving, for want of a better term. He just said 'huh' and walked off again. He wasn't very talkative at dinner.

[MyUserName]

A few times a GF's mother walked in on us. At one point we were both naked from the waste down but covered by a sheet as we explained we were both exhausted and taking a nap.

We were there chatting for a fair few minutes without her seeming to realise what was happening as we adlibbed plausible reasons for why we could not get up at that point.


Another time on uni placement I had spent the night with a girl. There was a knock at the door at about 8 in the morning as I was opening the door she said "it might be my boyfriend!". As I thought "BOYFRIEND?!?!" I was face to face with a guy I sort of half knew. He seemed puzzled as to what I was doing in his girlfriend's room at 8 on a Sunday morning (luckily I was dressed) -

Me: "Hi, are you after Lindsey?" (Seriously, this was the best I thought of, it was a single room why the F**K else would he be there?)

Him: "Erm ... yes is she here?"

Me: "Yep, Linds, it's for you. Sorry, I can't find that spider. Perhaps he can, I'll leave you to it" (polite nod to him and quick march out!)

Lindsey: "Right, thanks"


He actually bought it but she had to feign arachnophobia for the rest of their relationship.

[mos]

I was once caught reading utter tulipe in the Daily Mail.

How fooking embarrassing is that!

[MyUserName]

It's hot and it's got a slot!

Who wouldn't?

Erm - ME for a bloody start!

[MaryPoppins]

All this 50 shades of crap is truly up there on my shovel list.

It makes me cringe - despite never having read it. As if! I can tell it's utter bilge from the type of women that prattle on about it.

[rhubarb]

When I was 18, I was being "orally pleasured" by a girlfriend in her bedroom. Her mother walked in at a crucial moment.
G/F stopped and leapt to her feet. Me stood there...to attention..
G/F's mum simply said "get out".
So I did.