Reply to: Mistaken Identity

[fullyautomatix]

That was where I was mistaken DS. That white pool cue.....

Cant you and DS book a room in a B&B in Melksham ( or whatever ) and sort this out over a pint ?

[MaryPoppins]

I joined my secondary school half way through the first year. During my first week, someone told me to go and ask one girl about her father's dancing - he was supposedly some sort of champion. So I said to her, "I hear your dad's great at dancing." Needless to say, he was a paraplegic.

That really made me laugh.

[Malcolm Buggeridge]

Were we talking about blind snooker players?

That was where I was mistaken DS. That white pool cue.....

[mudskipper]

I had the same story at a New Year's Eve party at a rented venue. As the party was winding up we started packing my nephew's hi-end audio equipment and the innkeeper's son offered to help.
He was rather clumsy at that, especially at putting things into bags etc and at one point I simply asked: "are you f***ing blind?" to which the innkeeper calmly replied that actually he is (and apparently everyone but me knew that)....

I joined my secondary school half way through the first year. During my first week, someone told me to go and ask one girl about her father's dancing - he was supposedly some sort of champion. So I said to her, "I hear your dad's great at dancing." Needless to say, he was a paraplegic.

[yasockie]

I had the same story at a New Year's Eve party at a rented venue. As the party was winding up we started packing my nephew's hi-end audio equipment and the innkeeper's son offered to help.
He was rather clumsy at that, especially at putting things into bags etc and at one point I simply asked: "are you f***ing blind?" to which the innkeeper calmly replied that actually he is (and apparently everyone but me knew that)....

[Doggy Styles]

One gets the impression that perhaps Lofty isn't the sharpest tool in the drawer.

And one would be correct! He means well though.

As an aside he used to be a champion sidecar rider, or 'monkey', as those leather-clad chaps who climb over their friends used to call themselves.

Anyway, I'm way off topic for the thread. Were we talking about blind snooker players?

[Malcolm Buggeridge]

Good heavens! That reminds me of the Village Swan in Ivinghoe Aston (an independent establishment owned by the villagers themselves). Last Christmas their new landlord decided to install and illuminate at least 3000 festive lights within the pub. Strangely, Lofty the local handyman couldn't work out what kept blowing the fuses.

One gets the impression that perhaps Lofty isn't the sharpest tool in the drawer.

[Doggy Styles]

Indeed, one of the street's residents had to pay Southern Electricity £700 to lay an industrial strength cable to his home to cope with the drain caused by the display.

Good heavens! That reminds me of the Village Swan in Ivinghoe Aston (an independent establishment owned by the villagers themselves). Last Christmas their new landlord decided to install and illuminate at least 3000 festive lights within the pub. Strangely, Lofty the local handyman couldn't work out what kept blowing the fuses.

[Malcolm Buggeridge]

We wandered around outside in nothing but shirtsleeves, a strange feeling surrounded by Christmas regalia. Is there a peculiar microclimate there?

Hi DS

Oddly enough, yes there is a peculiar microclimate there at that time of year. This is because Melksham has Britain's most decorated residential street at Christmas time. Indeed, one of the street's residents had to pay Southern Electricity £700 to lay an industrial strength cable to his home to cope with the drain caused by the display.

You can read all about it here

So, as you can imagine, a few degrees is added to local temperatures when that lot is lit up.

[AtW]

Malcolm Buggeridge == Doggy Styles

[Doggy Styles]

Excellent post, Malc! It made me titter.

I spent a long weekend in Melksham once, but sad to say I don't remember much about the place, except that it wasn't far from Bath and Bradford. This was in the late 1980s, probably well before your Flyers thrust to the fore.

I do remember it being unconscionably warm for December though. We wandered around outside in nothing but shirtsleeves, a strange feeling surrounded by Christmas regalia. Is there a peculiar microclimate there?

[administrator]

Don't be mean! This made me chuckle when I read it this morning. Not a bad effort at all

[AtW]

.

FTFY

[Malcolm Buggeridge]

Avon Rubber is still around but the tyre making division was sold to the American firm Cooper Tyres. They are still making tyres in Melksham under that brand though.

[xoggoth]

Melksham? I did one of my six month industrial training things back in student days at the Avon Rubber Company. Probably disappeared now like most of our industry.