Extrusions

[doodab]

I have this issue too, as I have a diet that's high in protein and leads to large, sticky turds. At one clientco, I had exactly the same problem of blocking loos, so I developed a technique that I have called 'tulip 2.0'.

The protocol for tulip 2.0 is as follows;

1. drop pants and sit on bog as per tulip 1.0
2. tulip
3. Flush
4. Wipe arse
5. Deposit used loo paper in bog
6. Flush again

Observant members of the congregation will notice the cunning use of the extra flush between the tulip and the wipe, so as to prevent overloading of the bog with paper and turd at the same time.

Try it and let me know; I couldn't bring myself to confess to this when I blocked the bogs at clientco, so I've been looking for an independent, unbiased tester so that I can patent the tulip 2.0 protocol.

Problem solved.

[nomadd]

Every time I do one I seem to block the loo. I don't think it's the loo as I've blocked several this week.

What to do?

Stop using the loo? Maybe just s-h-i-t the bed instead?

[hyperD]

Do what I do and get the bread knife out and chop it into nuggets. That's what tapas does to you.

hyperD in "Mallorca olive oil turd" mode

[EternalOptimist]

I dont normally suffer from 'big logs' due to my drinking habits.
But when I catch the sun, my body goes into water conservation mode, and I do create 'brazillians' which are teak tree trunks of matto grosso proportions.

hence the need for a stick to break them in two.


a few weeks ago I was in centre parcs, and indeed caught the sun.


now I need to warn people about the dangers of using an outside twig, in areas of twig scarcity. If you do need a twig again, its likely to be the one you used yesterday. For fcks sake, make sure you grab hold of the clean end

[Mich the Tester]

Every time I do one I seem to block the loo. I don't think it's the loo as I've blocked several this week.

What to do?

I have this issue too, as I have a diet that's high in protein and leads to large, sticky turds. At one clientco, I had exactly the same problem of blocking loos, so I developed a technique that I have called 'tulip 2.0'.

The protocol for tulip 2.0 is as follows;

1. drop pants and sit on bog as per tulip 1.0
2. tulip
3. Flush
4. Wipe arse
5. Deposit used loo paper in bog
6. Flush again

Observant members of the congregation will notice the cunning use of the extra flush between the tulip and the wipe, so as to prevent overloading of the bog with paper and turd at the same time.

Try it and let me know; I couldn't bring myself to confess to this when I blocked the bogs at clientco, so I've been looking for an independent, unbiased tester so that I can patent the tulip 2.0 protocol.

[EternalOptimist]

I eat a hearty bowl of all bran every morning and produce Titans of the turd world, one wipe wonders.

wiping less is good. and healthy probbly.

but having to outside for a twig or a stick, to break the bastid in two is not good

no sir

[minestrone]

I eat a hearty bowl of all bran every morning and produce Titans of the turd world, one wipe wonders.

[doodab]

Eat properly so your turds don't block the loo.

I think it's because I've started eating properly that it's happening.

[SueEllen]

Eat properly so your turds don't block the loo.

[minestrone]

Time for a designated jobby knife.

[bless 'em all]

Every time I do one I seem to block the loo. I don't think it's the loo as I've blocked several this week.

What to do?

Grow a tail, make like a hippo.

[doodab]

Every time I do one I seem to block the loo. I don't think it's the loo as I've blocked several this week.

What to do?