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Suity, didn't I tell you over and over again that you're a kick-ass motherf###er ?
Now, grab some Bob-ette from the office and whisper (loudly) in her ear, "You and me luv, in the disabled toilets, NOW", then give her a firm slap on the arse and go give her a good seeing to.
Once you're finished, stride out of the bogs, beat your chest and shout "You c**ts get on with stuff, I'm off to sink a bottle of JD" and head to the pub for some well deserved man-time.
I'll give it time with you two tards. The penny will drop at some point. Sorry to disappoint, but I am doing ok.
Suity, didn't I tell you over and over again that you're a kick-ass motherf###er ?
Now, grab some Bob-ette from the office and whisper (loudly) in her ear, "You and me luv, in the disabled toilets, NOW", then give her a firm slap on the arse and go give her a good seeing to.
Once you're finished, stride out of the bogs, beat your chest and shout "You c**ts get on with stuff, I'm off to sink a bottle of JD" and head to the pub for some well deserved man-time.
Why do I feel like there is an ending to this story with a bloke having a heart attack and quitting the contract ?
Thats uncalled for. Granted its the likely outcome but I was always told to see the best in people. Plus I'm an optimist. Granted 99.9999% of the time my optimism is wrong but you have to be optimistic.
The balloon goes up. Things you have been warning the project about for months and been ignored about, finally the tulip hits the fan. The corners cut, the much cheapness plenty quickness, the downright cowboy approach all comes to a head.
Yes folks, we're talking about SIT testing.
The Functional specs were never delivered. What was delivered was utter tulipe. So the developers built what they thought was right, by asking lots of questions to the author of the "Spec", and keeping records of the answers. Dozens upon dozens of emails, JIRA tickets, meetings, scraps of paper. All because of no specification that was any use.
So, then SIT comes to pass. Everything works.
The Bob's rub their hands in our direction. They have won? SIT passed. Victory is theirs, Shirley. This new approach to software development, Bob-style, has worked. Who needs quality requirements?
That was of course until some bright spark in the development team pointed out they had been asked to rig the tests in SIT so they all passed.
How anyone can trust them after that I don't know.
So SIT testing goes in the bin, the work gets redeveloped without hard coding values to force a pass case, and those that did not heed my warnings have to go grovelling to their bosses and hand their arses on a plate.
I love contracting. No, the gloss has not come off.
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