Reply to: Pre 'employment' screening............

[TestMangler]

I had this. Just point them to your accountant

Thanks. I know how to deal with it (by taking the piss a bit for a start).

I pointed out to them that I submit information to my accountant on an annual basis. They're not due to get anything from this financial year until after the end of October.

In the end, I phoned my accountant and told him someone would contact them and told him to tell them I was 'having a holiday'. This he duly did and that was enough to keep them happy. Hearing it second hand from someone who doesn't know if it's true.

I was originally going to tell them I spent two months in a weapons training camp in Pakistan followed by a 'How to write effective emails' course in Nigeria, but I doubt they'd have seen the funny side

[Ruprect]

Norrahe, I've worked for Halifax, then HBOS, and now Lloyds (most recently starting 2010 and ending in 2011) literally a dozen times and have NEVER had to go through this before.

Yesterday, they wanted to verify that my contract history on my CV was accurate and most of the last five years was based at HBOS/Lloyds. When I told them to go there to verify it, they said they couldn't approach my previous end client !!! Despite the fact that it's Lloyds they are doing this bloody verification for. The whole thing is laughable.

I had this. Just point them to your accountant

[TestMangler]

So they require bank statements if you have gaps on your CV???

Blimey!

Norrahe, I've worked for Halifax, then HBOS, and now Lloyds (most recently starting 2010 and ending in 2011) literally a dozen times and have NEVER had to go through this before.

Yesterday, they wanted to verify that my contract history on my CV was accurate and most of the last five years was based at HBOS/Lloyds. When I told them to go there to verify it, they said they couldn't approach my previous end client !!! Despite the fact that it's Lloyds they are doing this bloody verification for. The whole thing is laughable.

[alluvial]

So they require bank statements if you have gaps on your CV???

Blimey!

Yep, or the plane tickets and the stamps in your passport if you've been travelling.
I've never seen the point myself, just more HR bollocks.

[norrahe]

I've got them saved and just attach them each time.

I agree though, it is complete bollocks and I find it very intrusive, far more intrusive than is necessary. However, they are one of the worst for the process tulip and do love a good process.

I've moved around the group quite a bit and have finished at one site and started the next Monday still for them but in a different division. It really pisses me off that I still have to fill in the forms and send off my bank statements for the few weeks I was out back in 2008.

One day I'm going to be getting out of this lark and I will do one final job hunt with the banks until I get a role. Then I shall really enjoy filling in the form; explaining a gap as being in Broadmoor under observation for psychopathic tendencies should be a good one.

So they require bank statements if you have gaps on your CV???

Blimey!

[Cliphead]

If you don't have the papers up there what do you wrap the chips in?

Old Rangers programmes, they'll never be valuable.

[doodab]

Sorry Alf, was that meant to be a serious reply or did you miss out the punchline ????

If you don't have the papers up there what do you wrap the chips in?

[TestMangler]

It's very important to financial institutions that they only take on those with impeccable integrity and who won't be dishonest and damage the brand image of the company.

Sorry Alf, was that meant to be a serious reply or did you miss out the punchline ????

[Alf W]

It's very important to financial institutions that they only take on those with impeccable integrity and who won't be dishonest and damage the brand image of the company.

[TestMangler]

A lot of places do insist on a full check, but I'm surprised that they're doing it for the kitchens though.

I was waiting for a 'chippy' gag from you. Everyone knows that a proper chippy does not have a seperate kitchen

[MarillionFan]

And f### you too, I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherf####r, motherf####r !!

A lot of places do insist on a full check, but I'm surprised that they're doing it for the kitchens though.

[TestMangler]

Get even 'better' doday.

Them - you have a three month gap on your CV.

Me - I know, I wrote it....

Them - We'll need some evidence of what you've been doing.

Me - Evidence ? Are you serious ?

Them - Yes.

So, I took the girls email address and sent her a pile of photos of me fishing, out on the boat, on a motorbike trip and playing the guitar in a band

She phoned back and siad 'That wasn't what she meant'.

Ohhh, how I laughed. but she didn't, surly cow

[AtW]

And f### you too, I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherf####r, motherf####r !!

[TestMangler]

So that's like what, 8 or 9 attempts to bypass swear filter on here?

Just because you feel like shit does not mean we need to know about it

And f### you too, I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherf####r, motherf####r !!

[AtW]

God-damn mother####ing mother~~~~ers.

This tulip gets right on my ####ing nipple ends.....

I'm not a f###ing employee.

Their f###ing online f###ing questionaires do not cater for f###ing contractors, even when dealing with a f###ing agency that places f###ing contractors.

F###ing AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH

Ooohh.....feel a bit better now.........

So that's like what, 8 or 9 attempts to bypass swear filter on here?

Just because you feel like shit does not mean we need to know about it