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Previously on "Skype interview... FFS"

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  • PRC1964
    replied
    Originally posted by NickFitz View Post
    "Our so-called field of expertise is actually a complete waste of time and intended solely as a makework programme for humanities graduates who have nothing of monetary value to contribute to society."
    As a humanities graduate, can I just say that that is entirely fair.

    Leave a comment:


  • original PM
    replied
    Originally posted by Bunk View Post


    She is quite annoying, especially when the popup window gets hidden under other browser windows, only to reappear once someone else is using the computer

    Don't know how that got there
    good try but.......

    Leave a comment:


  • Bunk
    replied
    Originally posted by PAH View Post
    Outsource the web chat to Jasmin. She loves doing live video work.


    She is quite annoying, especially when the popup window gets hidden under other browser windows, only to reappear once someone else is using the computer

    Don't know how that got there

    Leave a comment:


  • PAH
    replied
    Outsource the web chat to Jasmin. She loves doing live video work.

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
    NEW DISCOVERY IN THE WORLD OF SCIENCE
    A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
    the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
    tentatively named "Administratium".
    Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
    neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
    mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force
    called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
    lepton-like particles called peons.
    Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
    can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it
    comes into contact.
    A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take
    over 4 days to complete when it would normally take only a
    few minutes. Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years;
    it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization,
    in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
    and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places, and additional
    peons are added.
    In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time,
    since each reorganization causes some morons to become
    neutrons forming isodopes.
    This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
    speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
    quantity in concentration.
    This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
    You will know it when you see it...
    So what you're saying is that our (CUK) Admin is a moron and a waste of space.

    Bit harsh. See you again in two years Brillo.

    Leave a comment:


  • bless 'em all
    replied
    Originally posted by d000hg View Post
    Skype in Australia.
    Turn your web-cam upside down.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    NEW DISCOVERY IN THE WORLD OF SCIENCE
    A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of
    the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
    tentatively named "Administratium".
    Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy
    neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
    mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force
    called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
    lepton-like particles called peons.
    Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
    can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it
    comes into contact.
    A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take
    over 4 days to complete when it would normally take only a
    few minutes. Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years;
    it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization,
    in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
    and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places, and additional
    peons are added.
    In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time,
    since each reorganization causes some morons to become
    neutrons forming isodopes.
    This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
    speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
    quantity in concentration.
    This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
    You will know it when you see it...

    Leave a comment:


  • Peoplesoft bloke
    replied
    Originally posted by NickFitz View Post
    "Our so-called field of expertise is actually a complete waste of time and intended solely as a makework programme for humanities graduates who have nothing of monetary value to contribute to society."
    +1 but I would add "and ensure no-one who

    a)can do the job
    b)who the business actually wants or
    c) expects a sensible rate

    is ever appointed"

    Leave a comment:


  • Bunk
    replied
    Originally posted by BoredBloke View Post
    Obviously change the quotes if its not Tom!!
    Or don't. That'll really confuse 'em

    Leave a comment:


  • RSoles
    replied
    and make sure you organise it for just after lunch local time.

    Leave a comment:


  • Paddy
    replied
    Arrange for you to have a premium telephone number at £12 a minute diverted to your line. Tell them the only way to connect a webcam is by direct line as the Internet is slow. Make the interview last as long as possible and collect the money.

    Leave a comment:


  • Zippy
    replied
    Originally posted by NickFitz View Post
    "Our so-called field of expertise is actually a complete waste of time and intended solely as a makework programme for humanities graduates who have nothing of monetary value to contribute to society."
    WHS

    Leave a comment:


  • d000hg
    replied
    Just tell them they don't have Skype in Australia.

    Leave a comment:


  • wobbegong
    replied
    Originally posted by DieScum View Post
    I live in Australia.

    Been approached about a job back in the UK.

    Had phone interview with manager. Pretty much offered the job.

    Then today had HR on the phone ("who were off last and should have been first") asking inane questions and wanted to arrange a face to face interview via skype if an in person interview is not possible.

    "Um, don't actually have a strong internet connection at home for video chat. Signal comes and goes. Can we just have a phone call?"

    "No we need to do this face to face and get a feel for the person."

    Weird. Maybe they don't want to recruit swarthy people or something.
    FTFY

    Leave a comment:


  • BoredBloke
    replied
    get a picture of Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt and move the mouth in time with your responses. There is no need to do the 'gottle of geer' thing as you'll be sat behind the picture during the interview. Drop in phrases like that would be an almost impossible mission or how you aim to be their Top Gun etc Good luck Mavrick!

    Obviously change the quotes if its not Tom!!

    Leave a comment:

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