Reply to: What is it with British hotels not having a phone in the loo?

[gingerjedi]

Butlers do not wipe posteriors; they carry out far more dignified tasks than that. You are thinking of coolies, and I could get into trouble for using that term, but even coolies do not wipe posteriors; that is something that a gentleman is expected to do for himself.

Who provides the swan?

[Mich the Tester]

Oohoh, old bean, you make telephone calls and read the papah whilst ohn the watah closet, but get all hoity toity about calling the butlah to wipe your posterior afterwards. That's double standaaards sir!

Indeed, and I would certainly not refer to a loo as a 'water closet'; and definitely not that frightful word beginning with toil...

[TimberWolf]

Butlers do not wipe posteriors; they carry out far more dignified tasks than that. You are thinking of coolies, and I could get into trouble for using that term, but even coolies do not wipe posteriors; that is something that a gentleman is expected to do for himself.

Oohoh, old bean, you make telephone calls and read the papah whilst ohn the watah closet, but get all hoity toity about calling the butlah to wipe your posterior afterwards. That's double standaaards sir!

[Mich the Tester]

How on earth do you slow poo'ers manage in turd world countries like France where you have to squat?

We visit civilised countries instead.

[Mich the Tester]

I'm terribly sorry but hoh else would one call the butlah to wipe one's posterior? Aside from pulling the butler chain, that is.

Butlers do not wipe posteriors; they carry out far more dignified tasks than that. You are thinking of coolies, and I could get into trouble for using that term, but even coolies do not wipe posteriors; that is something that a gentleman is expected to do for himself.

[TimberWolf]

How on earth do you slow poo'ers manage in turd world countries like France where you have to squat?

[TimberWolf]

do you have a phone in the bogs at home ?

I'm terribly sorry but hoh else would one call the butlah to wipe one's posterior? Aside from pulling the butler chain, that is.

[Mich the Tester]

do you have a phone in the bogs at home ?

No, we have a person who does the cleaning and puts a selection of journals in a conveniently placed rack next to the throne.

[EternalOptimist]

Sitting on the throne during my last visit to the UK, I realised I didn't have a newspaper, so I wanted to phone reception and order a copy of the Times.

But to my shock and discombobulation; no phone!

do you have a phone in the bogs at home ?

[d000hg]

[Spacecadet]

why would you want to talk to anyone while you're on the toilet? Are you an animal?

2 things that animals generally don't do (without training)

1. Talk
2. Use the toilet

So talking whilst on the toilet is about as far from animal behaviour as you can get!

HTH

[Churchill]

why would you want to talk to anyone while you're on the toilet? Are you an animal?

Ok, it's like this...

You're having a shave.

The phone rings...

It's reception...

"Mr Churchill, your car has arrived!"

"Thank you Miss Moneypenny, I'll be down shortly!"

[PorkPie]

why would you want to talk to anyone while you're on the toilet? Are you an animal?

[Churchill]

Not sure I'll be having a dump whilst phoning her... but then I'm in a hotel room, why do I need to be sat on the toilet??

Always wise to dump your bowels first, what if she brings her strap-on!

[Spacecadet]

Let's say there was a phone in the toilet, your going to ask some naive young receptionist to deliver a newspaper to you while sat on the throne while your taking a dump??

Not sure I'll be having a dump whilst phoning her... but then I'm in a hotel room, why do I need to be sat on the toilet??