Reply to: Asprin Alert!

[Denny]

Don't you just hate interferring busybodies?

It's interfering.

[Denny]

Dear Denny,

I am a Giant Alien Lizard and I am convinced that someone is out to kill me stone dead using a gun fashioned from a giant bamboo, filled with a very crude form of gunpowder, with uncut diamonds as bullets.

Do you think this is a genuine problem or should I keep taking my special pills?

Best Regards,
ZeitGhost.

Look, you cheeky monkey!

People write to me with PMs behind the scenes with their problems. I'm only too happy to oblige with my considerable knowledge and wisdom on matters all things contractor related.

[Captain Jack]

Looks like I've arrived late to the party, missed the alcohol, and the drugs, even missed the fight, and found nothing but a pile of vomit on the carpet. Oh well.

It was great while it lasted. Truly a giant of wide-ranging irrelevancy and that's saying something in CUK.

[Fungus]

Looks like I've arrived late to the party, missed the alcohol, and the drugs, even missed the fight, and found nothing but a pile of vomit on the carpet. Oh well.

[Lucifer Box]

Do you think this is a genuine problem or should I keep taking my special pills?

You should be alright as long as you steer clear of this guy.

[xoggoth]

Clarity? Where government and tax is concerned confusion is the intent.

[Denny]

Delete your original post and then generations of contractors to come will be forever bemused by this thread.

Considering my growing reputation for being the Anna Raeburn of contracting, I think that is wise advice.

[The Master]

I wish I hadn't posted it now because I assumed that Qdos would know what they were talking about, which is why I posted it (hurriedly and without editing it properly). It seems that Bauer and Cotterall think differently since I spoke with them.

Delete your original post and then generations of contractors to come will be forever bemused by this thread.

[James Tiberius Kirk]

Nope...

Giant Alien Green Lizard speak with fork tongue, surely?

or Giant Alien Green Lizard is good reason for ignoring the Prime Directive

[Denny]

You say it's true, some accountants say it isn't true. So what is the concerned contractor to do other than believe his/her/its accountant, possibly do some quiet research of their own, and in the meantime post a flippant response in the best traditions of the 'General' thread?

I wish I hadn't posted it now because I assumed that Qdos would know what they were talking about, which is why I posted it (hurriedly and without editing it properly). It seems that Bauer and Cotterall think differently since I spoke with them.

Whatever research we do or whoever we speak to seems to throw up more questions than answers.

It's a really unacceptable situation though.

We're trying to manage our own tax affairs efficiently and properly yet we're effectively prevented from doing so because of all the fuzziness surrounding these issues.

The sooner there is clarity the better.

[Churchill]

Man in silly tunic speak with forked tongue!

Nope...

Giant Alien Green Lizard speak with fork tongue, surely?

[The Master]

This was supposed to be a serious thread not a piss take. Looks like I put it on the wrong site.

As it turns out another accountancy firm have denied that any of this is true when I conveyed this information to them. Therefore, none of us are any the wiser.

The sooner we get clarity of these issues the better.

You say it's true, some accountants say it isn't true. So what is the concerned contractor to do other than believe his/her/its accountant, possibly do some quiet research of their own, and in the meantime post a flippant response in the best traditions of the 'General' thread?

[James Tiberius Kirk]

This was supposed to be a serious thread not a piss take. Looks like I put it on the wrong site.

As it turns out another accountancy firm have denied that any of this is true when I conveyed this information to them. Therefore, none of us are any the wiser.

The sooner we get clarity of these issues the better.

Look
You can get all serious about flippant responses to your post , or just accept that to Hectors paymaster - i.e. Gordon - we are tax evading scum who deserve to be bled dry, and that Hector has been instructed to go after with everything he's got - 'coz it's all about fairness innit!!

I see it like acknowledging death... it's going to happen and all you can do is laugh at it.
If however you feel more strongly about this, and are actually contemplating political assassinations as a means of changing Government policy... well that too is OK & I will applaud your efforts & strength of conviction.

Could I also suggest a list in order of preference?

1: Patricia Hewitt
2: Jack Straw
3: Beverley Hughes


oh feck it... do them all!!

[Denny]

This was supposed to be a serious thread not a piss take. Looks like I put it on the wrong site.

As it turns out another accountancy firm have denied that any of this is true when I conveyed this information to them. Therefore, none of us are any the wiser.

The sooner we get clarity of these issues the better.

[The Master]

Gentlemen, a text book CUK set of responses to the OP.

Well done.