My accountants been burgled....

[The Lone Gunman]

No accountant or lawyer has ever been the victim of a shark attack you know.

Something to do with professional courtesy.

[Bitbucket]

Burglers Code

My accountant is always stealing from me so its fair game that they should also get burgled. In fact burglars should have a code of conduct whereby the most theiving professions like Lawyers should be top of their list.

I know that some accountants and Lawyers are hard working and deserve not to get burgled at all , but hey theres always clolateral damage.

[threaded]

During the cold war there really was a branch of British military intelligence whose job was solely to sort through and study the contents of dozens of boxes of used bog paper every day.

Many Russian military bases used recycled manuals and even cypher books as loo paper, and somehow the British arranged to salvage the used sheets from the drains and ship them back to the UK. Honest to God, this operation lasted years; but I forget its code name.

Apparently the Russians never gave their soldiers enough toilet paper when they were on maneuvers so they used whatever was to hand (fnar fnar) so after they'd done a maneuver little teams of special forces would go out and sniff round trees etc and collect this stuff.

But it is much older than that, we did it to the Germans in WW1 as well.

IMHO that dept is still going and all other countries do it as well. Last one I heard of was in Iran vs the Yanks, not quite toilet paper but reassembling shredded paper.

[Fungus]

I see the forum's going down the pan again ...

[stackpole]

I have found that CH probably prefer charred accounts, or even better, ones you have wiped your @rse on. It save them the trouble of doing it themselves or having to send them to the Miinistry For Wiping @rses On Legal Documents.

Who is the Minister of the Ministry for Wiping @rses On Legal Documents? It sounds like something New Labour could actually do properly.

[OwlHoot]

I have found that CH probably prefer charred accounts, or even better, ones you have wiped your @rse on. It save them the trouble of doing it themselves or having to send them to the Miinistry For Wiping @rses On Legal Documents.

During the cold war there really was a branch of British military intelligence whose job was solely to sort through and study the contents of dozens of boxes of used bog paper every day.

Many Russian military bases used recycled manuals and even cypher books as loo paper, and somehow the British arranged to salvage the used sheets from the drains and ship them back to the UK. Honest to God, this operation lasted years; but I forget its code name.

[xoggoth]

I have found that CH probably prefer charred accounts, or even better, ones you have wiped your @rse on. It save them the trouble of doing it themselves or having to send them to the Miinistry For Wiping @rses On Legal Documents.

[Alf W]

How convenient!

The dog ate me homework sir, honest!

[MrsGoof]

My acountants burnt down last year,

The first I knew of it was trying to ring them and getting no answer and then a letter from CH asking for their £100 fine for late submission.

After making contact I found that my acounts were only mildly chared so they sent the charred ones off to CH so that they would agree to drop the fine.

They did have backups but it took them at least 6 weeks to get back into order, new office new kit ....

[BoredBloke]

...and just in time for the financial year end - They have lost all their kit and their backup data. They were storing their backups on a zip drive which got knicked also. So they had the foresight to back up their data, but failed to take the disc out of the drive.