'Twas on a Monday morning the gas man came to call.

[Sysman]

Home again.

Neat hole punched through outside wall and a thick electric cable poised to be connected to the mains distribution box.

Water and gas pipes disappearing into the cellar window.

Internet and telly still working. I wonder how long that will last.

[Old Greg]

In the spirit of Alfred J Pruffcock, I am reminded of a little folk song I heard at a festival last summer:

The Lollipop Man

Chorus: trad. Verses: © Jim Causley, Paul Wilson & Marilyn Tucker 2007

Oh the lollipop man has a great big stick
And all that he charges is a penny a lick
And he gets it out whenever he can
He’s a dirty old devil is the lollipop man

Who is this with his spurty spout?
A dribbly cone, you can suck it all out
And a knicker-knocker glory, it’s the ice-cream man
But he cannot hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this with his grimy sack?
You can have it up the front or he’ll shove it round the back
With his sooty old nuts it’s the dirty coalman
But he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this with his long stiff brush?
He rams it up the flu with a shove and a push
And he doesn’t give a toss; he’s the chimney sweep man
But he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

And who is this with his floppy mop?
It’s long and it’s wet with a foam on top
Well he’s squeaky clean; it’s the window cleaner man
But he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this with a silver top?
It’s nothing that a little blue-tit can’t pop
With his manly jugs it’s the creamy milkman
But he cannot hold a candle to the lollipop man

And who is this with his petticoats gay?
Powder puff and curly wig and lingerie
Well it’s old Mollybags, neither woman nor a man
But she’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this taking down your draws?
He never ever shoots and he seldom scores
Well it’s never jackpot with the Littlewoods man
And he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

Who is this with the long bent fruit?
He peels back the skin and he slips on his suit
Well his real name’s Eric, he’s Banana Man
But he’ll never hold a candle to the lollipop man

[Sysman]

And I think I have problems. A colleague's son has just acquired a nice old house, but the beautiful oak floors were covered in carpet sometime during the '60s or '70s.

Fixed with a thick layer of glue.

The whole family have just spent a long weekend peeling the stuff off. Progress is slow.

[oracleslave]

Well my evening last night was not a gas. The flipping C02 alarm went off at 3am.

British gas were pretty good, had an engineer out in 90 min who spent a lot of time explaining to me what he was or wasn't allowed to do .

End result is we didn't have a leak, just a faulty alarm

[Sysman]

Well your posting so Electricity and Phoneline must be reconnected?

I've no idea. Phone and cable company vans were also seen lurking this morning though.

I'm not at home. I'm at the office.

[SimonMac]

Well your posting so Electricity and Phoneline must be reconnected?

[Moose423956]

I had roadworks outside yesterday morning at 06:30. On a Sunday!

I very nearly got out of bed to complain. But I didn't.

[Sysman]

Get your car shifted. Sharpish like.

Fret not. Alternative parking sorted well in advance.

[Pondlife]

Get your car shifted. Sharpish like.

[Sysman]

And the electricity man

And the water man.

They are digging the whole street up.

The drilling started at 7:34 precisely.

By 7:45 they were ringing the doorbell.

Electricity, water, gas all being disconnected then reconnected to temporary supplies 2 meters up in the air.

Hopefully without too many loud bangs.

Then the street comes up.

Oh what fun.