The double entendre thread

[d000hg]

This thread is stupid. You lot need to get a grip on yourselves.

[suityou01]

Yesterday a dog chased my wife's cat. Poor thing was so startled my missus had to sit there all afternoon with her pussy quivering.

[Ruprect]

We had the builders round the other day to knock down a wall. It was so big and hard that the bricks hardly shifted. It to ages for the builder to knock one out. Once one had come off he had to continue banging away. He pounded the hole for what seemed like weeks. He groaned and groaned as he banged the hole. Eventually as he was tiring the others started to come off, and eventually the whole lot came down, but by then he'd almost broken his tool.

[suityou01]

My friend is a gay boxer. He's not very good, in fact he's been licked in the ring quite a few times.

[Moscow Mule]

The lens cap was stuck on my camera earlier, but a few quick twists of the wrist and it came off in a couple of seconds... Mind you I haven't had it off in ages, so it was very stiff this morning"

[Zippy]

I thought about this long and hard, and decided the subject was too big to chew on, and my post would probably just be gobbled up

You're right. Have a stiff one and nibble on a nut.

[Ruprect]

I thought about this long and hard, and decided the subject was too big to chew on, and my post would probably just be gobbled up

[VectraMan]

A man walks into a bar, and notices in the corner a tiny man playing the piano. The barman tells him the little man had appeared when he rubbed the magic lamp at the end of the bar. So the customer rubs the lamp, makes a wish, and a million ducks appear. "A million ducks?", he says, "I asked for a million bucks". "I know", says the barman, "you think I really asked for a twelve inch pianist".

[TimberWolf]

Victoria Beckham walks into a chocolate shop, and looking up and pointing to the window, says she looking for something that comes in a posh box



and then walks out of the shop to join David, who was standing by the window all along

[suityou01]

Did you get a Les Dawson boxset for Xmas?

:

[Clippy]

Did you get a Les Dawson boxset for Xmas?

[suityou01]

I arrived home with my wife late at night. We had forgotten our doorkeys so I had to take her up the back passage.

[suityou01]

In honour of Mrs Slocombe's pussy.

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barman gives her one.