Reply to: PMO Terms of Reference

[RichardCranium]

RC - I think you're being an arsehole.

Have a for NOT saying 'asshole'.

I won't use the ratings system to tell you that.

Have another.

If this person isn't a sockie, you're hardly creating a brilliant impression of CUK.

Which CUK are you referring to? Did I not do enough swearing, homophobia, porn, forget to call the OP a bedwetter and then flounce?

It's fair enough to point them in the right direction within the forum

I answered his/her question in 3 different ways (in addition to the already very useful Google search answer) and then the OP complained they had had no useful response.

The OP did not bother to read what I wrote and instead came back whingeing that there was no response, twice.

The OP is clearly an idiot.

As the OP also failed to realise they had been given answers and pointers to answers then the OP is useless.

So the OP is also useless.

Ergo, the OP is a useless idiot. Ipso facto, QED.

but calling someone a useless idiot for asking a question like this, is a bit OTT.

I did not call the OP a useless idiot for asking the question. I called the OP a useless idiot for being an idiot of the useless variety.

[fckvwls]

RC - I think you're being an arsehole. I won't use the ratings system to tell you that.

Are you a PMO?

I thought it was quite a good response actually. Had plenty of useful info, some personal experience thrown in (most of which I second) and enough piss-taking to prompt the start of a good discussion and interesting thread.

Seen loads worse on here. Lighten up, it's christmas.

[MaryPoppins]

I provided 3 sources of information:
- you should define what you need (only YOU know that);
- a list of headings from a ToR in the form of a relevant syllabus;
- a web site providing a number of links to recommended reading on the subject.

Then you are a useless idiot.



I take it you 'manage' a PMO.

Well, education is usually considered A Good Thing. If you disagree, that probably explains why you are a useless idiot.

If you don't read what is written, you won't learn anything.

And what I have learned in 15 years of working with PMOs, PPSOs and PSOs is that they are staffed and managed by useless idiots who ask lots of questions, but never listen to advice.

RC - I think you're being an arsehole. I won't use the ratings system to tell you that.

If this person isn't a sockie, you're hardly creating a brilliant impression of CUK. It's fair enough to point them in the right direction within the forum, but calling someone a useless idiot for asking a question like this, is a bit OTT.

[MaryPoppins]

Thanks again you pompous idiot, I don't manage a PMO but I worked my way up to Project Manager through the PMO.

Have you ever thought maybe your an idiot and treat the PMO like idiots so they don't actually want to be of any use to you!

I think you may have hit the nail on the head there, and as you've already guessed, General isn't the place to come for genuine help! Drop me a PM if you still need some assistance.

[realityhack]

If you want any more detail there are several peeps here who may be willing to chip in, but seeing as you're relatively new to the party, may need to ask some questions first - on subjects ranging from eating spaghetti while tweaking an autopilot, to watching movies about gladiators and the contents of your drinks cabinet.

[realityhack]

Attempting to be helpful Part 2:

TORs vary from job to job, depending upon house style. The basics, though, are quite straightforward. There's a clear PDF here after a brief foogle, to get you started on a framework.

What I've done in the past is fish on the company intranet or project sharepoint site (or sites for similar projects) to find an existing TOR, and kept the formatting.

HTH

[badger7579]

Checks forum ... sees it is General ... good-o.a) Start out with some Project Support staff. These will be admin people who failed at admin and got shoved into change management out of the way.
b) Someone realises you can shove them in one room out of the way by calling them a 'Project Support Office'.
c) These PSO people now have no work to do. Eventually, one of them will read an article on Change Management Organisational Structures and have An Idea.
d) The lead PSO person will suggest to the nearest career manager that ClientCo needs a Programme Management Office.
e) Management realise that by renaming the team they can give the appearance of promotions without expending money, and they approve the renaming.
f) The PSO, sorry, PMO staff now announce "We no longer do lowly work such as project support."
g) The lead PSO person, sorry, PMO person, now announces the PMO is a "Centre of Excellence".
h) The useless w4nkers in the PMO spend the rest of their working lives trying to tell project managers how to manage projects, despite being utterly clueless, worthless fckwits.

HTH


Seriously though, do you mean a PMO, a PSO or a PPSO? They ain't the same thing. Write down what you want it to do, and you will have produced 80% of the terms of reference anyway.

You could blag one together from the PDF describing the syllabus for the ISEB PPSO advanced qualification, here: http://www.bcs.org/upload/pdf/ppsosyllabus.pdf
More info:

About | Programme & Project Support Office | Practitioner | Project Management and Support | ISEB | Professionals | Qualifications, Training, Careers | BCS - The Chartered Institute for IT

Sooooooooo true

[Wenders]

I
Then you are a useless idiot.



I take it you 'manage' a PMO.

Well, education is usually considered A Good Thing. If you disagree, that probably explains why you are a useless idiot.

If you don't read what is written, you won't learn anything.

And what I have learned in 15 years of working with PMOs, PPSOs and PSOs is that they are staffed and managed by useless idiots who ask lots of questions, but never listen to advice.

Thanks again you pompous idiot, I don't manage a PMO but I worked my way up to Project Manager through the PMO.

Have you ever thought maybe your an idiot and treat the PMO like idiots so they don't actually want to be of any use to you!

[RichardCranium]

Thanks for nothing

I provided 3 sources of information:
- you should define what you need (only YOU know that);
- a list of headings from a ToR in the form of a relevant syllabus;
- a web site providing a number of links to recommended reading on the subject.

Sorry if this may sound flippant but I didn't realise I actually received any helpful advice!

Then you are a useless idiot.

Were you referring to the person who basically told the me the PMO were a useless bunch of idiots

I take it you 'manage' a PMO.

and pointed me in the direction of an exam to sit?!

Well, education is usually considered A Good Thing. If you disagree, that probably explains why you are a useless idiot.

I thought it was a long shot that anyone on here would have been any help!

If you don't read what is written, you won't learn anything.

And what I have learned in 15 years of working with PMOs, PPSOs and PSOs is that they are staffed and managed by useless idiots who ask lots of questions, but never listen to advice.

[cojak]

I admit it - it was flippant. But I love that lmgtfy site so much I couldn't resist.
In General it's a bit of a tradition to receive a ribbing along with (sometimes) helpful responses like RC's.
Had you posted in one of the professional fora you would've been spared - however, that has brought to light a gap in our information architecture that's worth considering...

...thinking aloud, it might be nice to have a section somewhere with a list of templates, resources and cheatsheets on a wide range of IT contracting topics. Resources/links are posted here and there, but it could be highly useful to bring them into one place.

<ponder>

I agree - that could prove quite useful.

(I already have a folder to collect that kind of thing but it would be useful to everyone else).

[Clippy]

I've got this sense of deja-vu ...

Stop being so flippant.

[Zippy]

I've got this sense of deja-vu ...

[Wenders]

I admit it - it was flippant. But I love that lmgtfy site so much I couldn't resist.
In General it's a bit of a tradition to receive a ribbing along with (sometimes) helpful responses like RC's.
Had you posted in one of the professional fora you would've been spared - however, that has brought to light a gap in our information architecture that's worth considering...

...thinking aloud, it might be nice to have a section somewhere with a list of templates, resources and cheatsheets on a wide range of IT contracting topics. Resources/links are posted here and there, but it could be highly useful to bring them into one place.

<ponder>

Sorry if this may sound flippant but I didn't realise I actually recieved any helpful advice! Were you refering to the person who basically told the me the PMO were a useless bunch of idiots and pointed me in the direction of an exam to sit?!

Thanks for nothing I thought it was a lond shot that anyone on here would have been any help!

[realityhack]

Thanks for that really helpful reply, I had already googled it! This is why I don't bother using this forum very often as mostly people are rude with there answers. I am so sorry if I have posted in the wrong section or just asked my stupid question I really didn't mean to disturb you clique.

Thanks for nothing

I admit it - it was flippant. But I love that lmgtfy site so much I couldn't resist.
In General it's a bit of a tradition to receive a ribbing along with (sometimes) helpful responses like RC's.
Had you posted in one of the professional fora you would've been spared - however, that has brought to light a gap in our information architecture that's worth considering...

...thinking aloud, it might be nice to have a section somewhere with a list of templates, resources and cheatsheets on a wide range of IT contracting topics. Resources/links are posted here and there, but it could be highly useful to bring them into one place.

<ponder>

[Wenders]

Idiot

Hi wenders... you can find a large collection of free downloadable templates for these kinds of documents here.

Thanks for that really helpful reply, I had already googled it! This is why I don't bother using this forum very often as mostly people are rude with there answers. I am so sorry if I have posted in the wrong section or just asked my stupid question I really didn't mean to disturb you clique.

Thanks for nothing