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Reply to: Fick or wot?

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Previously on "Fick or wot?"

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  • norrahe
    replied
    Originally posted by d000hg View Post
    No, but you do expect it to last about 5min before it gets trashed.

    Snow is a good test of how rough your street is:

    - Rough: snowman kicked to bits in an hour or less
    - Very rough: same but the head is thrown at your house, or the snowman is in your back garden
    - Roughish: decapitated or trashed within 24 hours
    - OK: people add genitalia
    - Good: left well alone
    - Excellent: people add decorations or more snowmen next to it

    One snowman in our street has a giant icicle stabbed through it's heart, otherwise no fatalities. There is a 7-foot tall snow-penis standing upright in a nearby garden, complete with balls covered in bits of sticks for pubes. Well, it was upright but is slowly leaning/drooping as the sun hits it.
    Obviously Calvin and Hobbes live up your street.

    Leave a comment:


  • norrahe
    replied
    Originally posted by AtW View Post
    Maybe she used family silver spoons...
    She's from Chatham, you don't get much "family silver" down that way

    Leave a comment:


  • AtW
    replied
    Maybe she used family silver spoons...

    Leave a comment:


  • d000hg
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    During the call the woman said: "It ain't a nice road but you don't expect someone to nick your snowman."
    No, but you do expect it to last about 5min before it gets trashed.

    Snow is a good test of how rough your street is:

    - Rough: snowman kicked to bits in an hour or less
    - Very rough: same but the head is thrown at your house, or the snowman is in your back garden
    - Roughish: decapitated or trashed within 24 hours
    - OK: people add genitalia
    - Good: left well alone
    - Excellent: people add decorations or more snowmen next to it

    One snowman in our street has a giant icicle stabbed through it's heart, otherwise no fatalities. There is a 7-foot tall snow-penis standing upright in a nearby garden, complete with balls covered in bits of sticks for pubes. Well, it was upright but is slowly leaning/drooping as the sun hits it.

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
    That bit has made me really laugh too.
    Perhaps it wasn't nicked, but put snowmanely down?

    Leave a comment:


  • MaryPoppins
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    because she used pound coins for eyes and teaspoons for arms.
    That bit has made me really laugh too.

    Leave a comment:


  • configman
    replied
    Originally posted by kandr View Post
    I can empathise, I build a snowman last year and when it thawed the water was absorbed by the ground, it then was soaked up by a orchard a few miles away and the apples where sold by the owner, so he profited from my snowman. I am taking it all the way to Europe.
    ..but wasn't it returned when the ciderhead pissed on your lawn.

    Leave a comment:


  • kandr
    replied
    I can empathise, I build a snowman last year and when it thawed the water was absorbed by the ground, it then was soaked up by a orchard a few miles away and the apples where sold by the owner, so he profited from my snowman. I am taking it all the way to Europe.

    Leave a comment:


  • AtW
    replied
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    Exactly. Theft is theft, however petty it's still a crime. If the police gave a tulip perhaps people would think twice about flaunting the law whenever they feel like it.
    WHS

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    I left a £50 note on the path outside my house and some **** nicked it after a few hours.



    Police didn't seem interested in the crime.

    Leave a comment:


  • thunderlizard
    replied
    Originally posted by TimberWolf View Post
    Wouldn't pennies do for the eyes? Or even buttons?
    Heck yes. Recently-resigned-for-saying-you've-never-had-it-so-good Lord Young would be turning in his grave if he knew people were spending £2 on snowman eyes in the middle of this "so-called recession", and if he was dead.

    Leave a comment:


  • wobbegong
    replied
    Originally posted by TimberWolf View Post
    Wouldn't pennies do for the eyes? Or even buttons? Did she also lose a carrot and some walnuts?
    Might have been a couple of slices of Spam?

    Leave a comment:


  • Mich the Tester
    replied
    I tested the Dutch emergency services call centre; about 75% of the calls were fake callers;

    - calling to hurl abuse at the telephonists
    - children pissing around
    - people asking where they can order a pizza
    - heavy breather types wanting a female voice on the line
    - trouser pocket calls, where the number was accidentally dialled on the mobile

    We introduced some software to help the coppers catch the idiots.

    Leave a comment:


  • fullyautomatix
    replied
    If you have ever been to Chatham and seen the in-bred spongers living there, you would not feel so surprised.

    Leave a comment:


  • TimberWolf
    replied
    Wouldn't pennies do for the eyes? Or even buttons? Did she also lose a carrot and some walnuts?

    Leave a comment:

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